"This admirable lotion"--in soft ecstatic tones Madeline rehearsed the
flowery language of the recipe--"though not so instantaneously startling
in its effect as our inestimable dyer and setter, yet forms a most
essential part of the whole process, opening, as it does, the dry and
lifeless pores of the scalp, imparting to them new life and beauty, and
rendering them more easily susceptible to the applications which follow.
But we must go deeper than this; a tone must be given to the whole system
by means of the cleansing and rejuvenating of the very centre of our
beings, and, for this purpose, we have prepared our wonderful potion."
Here Grandpa, with a wry face, was made to swallow a spoonful of the
mixture. "Our unparalleled dyer," Madeline continued, "restores black
hair to a more than original gloss and brilliancy, and gives to the faded
golden tress the sunny flashes of youth." Grandpa was dyed. "Our
world-renowned setter completes and perfects the whole process by adding
tone and permanency to the efficacious qualities of the lotion, potion,
and dyer, etc.;" while on Grandpa's head the unutterable dye was set.
"Now, read teacher some of the testimonials, daughter," said Grandma
Keeler, whose face was one broad, generous illustration of that rare and
peculiar virtue called faith.
So Madeline continued: "Mrs. Hiram Briggs, or North Dedham, writes: 'I
was terribly afflicted with baldness, so that, for months, I was little
more than an outcast from society, and an object of pity to my most
familiar friends. I tried every remedy in vain. At length I heard of your
wonderful restorative. After a week's application, my hair had already
begun to grow in what seemed the most miraculous manner. At the end of
ten months, it had assumed such length and proportions as to be a most
luxurious burden, and where I had before been regarded with pity and
aversion, I became the envied and admired of all beholders."
"Just think!" said Grandma Keeler, with rapturous sympathy and gratitude,
"how that poor creetur must a' felt!"
"'Orion Spaulding of Weedsville, Vermont,'" Madeline went on--but, here,
I had to beg to be excused, and went to my room to get ready for the
Sunday school.
When I came down again, Grandpa Keeler was seated, completely arrayed in
his best clothes, opposite Grandma, who held the big family Bible in her
lap, and a Sunday-school question book in one hand.
"Now, pa," said she; "what tribe was it in sacred writ that wore
bunnits?"
I was compelled to infer from the tone of Grandpa Keeler's answer that
his temper had not undergone a mollifying process during my absence.
"Come, ma," said he; "how much longer ye goin' to pester me in this way?"
"Why, pa," Grandma rejoined calmly; "until you git a proper understandin'
of it. What tribe was it in sacred writ that wore bunnits?"
"Lordy!" exclaimed the old man. "How d'ye suppose I know! They must'a'
been a tarnal old womanish lookin' set any way."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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