Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy — John Shaqi
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
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Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
To be glad of life, because it gives you a chance to love and to work
and to play and to look up at the stars, to be satisfied with your
possessions, but not contented with yourself until you have made the
best of them; to despise nothing in the world except falsehood and
meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your
admirations rather than by your disgust. To covet nothing that is your
neighbor’s except his kindness of heart and gentleness of manners; to
think seldom of your enemies, often of your friends, and every day of
Christ; and to spend as much time as you can, with body and with spirit,
in God’s out-of-doors; these are little guide-posts on the footpath to
peace.—Henry Van Dyke.
* * * * *
=Why the Editor Left Town=
(From the Rochester, Minn., Bulletin.)
Miss Isabel Jones returned yesterday from Chicago, where she visited
her son, Dick, and attended the Republican convention. Miss Jones
also visited at the National Kindergarten College, which she
formerly attended.
* * * * *
=Free Verse=
When a girl walks
Down the street
With hardly enough
Clothes on to make
A tail for a kite
You can’t expect a fellow
To have prayer meeting
Thoughts.
* * * * *
Little Johnnie rushed home from school, through the house and into the
yard where he had a pen of pet rabbits. Picking one up he began to shake
it violently, repeating with each shake and in a rather rough tone: “Two
and two; two and two.”
Johnnie’s mother heard the noise. She ran to the window and yelled at
him to stop abusing the rabbit. “Stop that, Johnnie,” she admonished.
“You’ll kill poor bunny.”
“I don’t care if I do,” Johnnie replied. “Teacher told me a lie today.
She said rabbits multiplied faster than anything and this one can’t even
add.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
=_Smokehouse Poetry_=
_HAVE you ever sighed for the good old days before the Great Drought? I
have—many, many times. Oh! Gentle Readers, how my mouth has filled with
juicy cotton at the thought of a nice, large, cooling glass of lager.
You know, the kind we got before the war—the amber fluid that would
almost make you side-slip into a tail spin and flop on your fusilage. In
the September issue, I want you to read “Sherry,” and then eat an egg so
as to complete the illusion._
_Oh, ’tis so. Don’t I know?
You’re in for it, once you begin it.
As with wine, so with love, you’d better go slow,
For the devil himself is in it!_
_She’s a “darby” poem for the old-fashioned Bohemian._—THE EDITOR.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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