Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy — John Shaqi
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
History
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol 1, No. 11, August, 1920: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
The general opinion appears to be that Moore had the love of Mary very
much at heart but through his tendency for liquor, finally lost out.
Those who really know Mary Pickford swear by the character of the girl.
Those who really know Moore can’t dislike him. They simply figure he was
his own worst enemy and that in the desperate moments of her mental
torture the girl grew to care for the light-hearted Fairbanks and his
blithesome way.
Poor Owen is just now figuring in a suit for damages brought by someone
from whom he rented a house. The owners claim that everything was in a
mess when they came back and that an overflow of booze has considerably
depreciated the furniture.
Another Hollywood “Secret” has been shattered. It seems that a perfectly
good married man went on a visit to his “Secret” and before the evening
was done he was driving a joyful bunch of other men, with their
“Secrets,” in his latest buzz wagon.
Everything would have been O. K. but for the fact that the happy hubby
permitted his own “Secret” to sit in the back seat while helping the
other revelling benedicts to deliver their “Secrets” home. It appears
that the “Secret” of the car-owner went to sleep in her recess in the
rear of the car.
The night was foggy. So was the brain of this “perfectly good” married
man. He parked the car in his garage, forgetting all about the “Secret”
lying asleep in the back seat. Next morning a “perfectly trusting” wife
was surprised, when she stepped onto the bungalow rear, to see a
“perfectly wild Secret” dashing madly out of the garage, clad in
anything but up-to-date morning garb.
The betting in Hollywood is 100 to 1 that Nevada prosecutors or
politicians do not break the Fairbanks-Pickford marital relations. Los
Angeles herself—that is the heart of it—says, “Let them alone. They’re
married, aren’t they, however they managed to do it?”
Maybe Los Angeles prognosticators are wrong. Maybe Nevada means
business. But the prevalent sentiment is that, unless their love-ship
hits the rocks some other way, Mary and Doug may woo and coo until
dooms-day—except at such times as they see fit to invite the newspapers
en masse to dinner or load down autos and Pullman cars with scribes who
would fain not invade their privacy.
Hanging and wiving go by destiny. For every Jonathan Wild there is
somewhere an adequate John Ketch; from the ends of the earth, noose and
neck rush to meet each other. For every Jack there is some compliant
Jill; from all the plains and valleys the couples scramble up to the
difficult ark of matrimony. Sheba travels to Solomon and the event is
set down in the book of Kings. Caesar rules over Rome and Cleopatra over
Egypt, but the wet sundering leagues cannot separate them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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