In a crowded omnibus a stout woman vainly endeavored to get her fare out of the pocket of her cloak, which was tightly buttoned as a precaution against pickpockets. After she had been working in vain for some minutes, a gentleman seated on her right said: “Please allow me to pay your fare.” The lady declined and recommenced her attacks on the pocket. After these had continued for some little time her fellow-passenger said: “You really must let me pay your fare. You have already undone my suspenders three times and I cannot stand it any longer.” * * * * * A woman is never so disappointed as when she asks a man to behave, and he behaves. * * * * * “Oh, Dear, You Hurt” Imagine the scene: A big, comfortable chair, a beautiful girl snuggled down in it, her head leaned back so that she is looking up into the face of the man who is bending so attentively over her. Now he reaches his arm around her. Her head is pressed against his heart. Speech at this time would be impossible. Listen. We hear her struggled whisper: “Oh, dear, you hurt.” In a low, earnest voice he says: “Well, I simply cannot help hurting you a little bit. You don’t mind that, do you?” Again we hear only silence. They seem perfectly contented. It is not long, however, that they remain in this position. He does not seem content with what he sees in her face. Her eyes are a violet gray. He bends farther over so that he can see into—well—see into her mouth. Because, of course, it is the dentist repairing her teeth. * * * * * Perhaps He Was Lucky The worried countenance of the bridegroom disturbed the best man. Tiptoeing up the aisle, he whispered: “What’s the matter, Jock? Hae ye lost the ring?” “No,” blurted out the unhappy Jock, “the ring’s safe eno’. But, mon, I’ve lost ma enthusiasm.” * * * * * It’s a sure sign of being in love if you shave twice. _Movie-Land Gossip_ _Editor’s Note: In the March issue, The Whiz Bang will publish a story for girls with movie ambitions. The scene of the story, which is true to life, is woven about the home of a well-known Hollywood character, Prince Troubetskoy. The Prince ranks as one of the greatest sculptors in the world and his California home saw many a high jinx. Do not miss this story, which tells of the system used by designing men in leading astray the unwary._ Doug Fairbanks must darn his own socks at night for all anyone ever sees of him. He used to strut about town with Bull Montana, Kid McCoy, Spike Robinson and a bunch of other retainers proudly walking in his wake. But Mary must be charming Doug in wondrous fashion. He did show up with Mary at the Mission theatre opening and the two marched between packed borders of humanity at the curb.