Chaplin has admitted that he had no business getting married in the first place. He declared frankly that he wasn’t made that way. He said that marriage interfered with his work and many believe that his sudden dropping from the pictures was done with the deliberate intention of not returning to it until his bread had been buttered on the other side. It was more a surprise to Chaplin’s friends that he married in the first place than a shock at reports of trouble that sounded their fanfare thru the newspapers. Everyone thought he’d marry Edna Purviance, if he married at all; though Miss Purviance’s feelings in the matter may not have been given due consideration or interrogation by the gossip mongers. * * * * * Mary had a Thomas cat, It warbled like Caruso; A neighbor swung a baseball bat— Now Thomas doesn’t do so. * * * * * The Mystery of Mankind On Christmas we noticed a lot of you angling around with your tongue hanging out, And tearfully beseeching everybody to point your ears toward a place where they sell licker Made out of barbed wire and red ink, with a touch of rat poison thrown in to take the curse off, And you were willing to divorce yourselves from a complete set of a dozen dollars For the privilege of assaulting your stomach with a bottle of it. And when you couldn’t get it you were as peeved as a hen that tries to get results from a doorknob. And you are the same lads who were whooping it up for pop and ice water at election time. And who said that Demon Rum had killed more people than the doctors. If you are a dry, why do you run yourselves bowlegged hunting for unhealthy licker, And if you believe another lil’ drink won’t do us any harm, why do you vote the Sahara Desert ticket? What’s the answer? Darned if we know. We’re a Mick. _High Life in South America_ _Reverend Golightly Morrill, veteran of many travels in sinful climes, will tell of the wickedness of the West Indies in the March issue of the WHIZ BANG, and how he, sophisticated as he is, succumbed to the enticements of one of Eve’s daughters with a tempting bowl. He describes his experience thusly: “Hot courtesan that yields readily, that drinks and laughs, that stains the cloth and the gown—the ribald orgy that shows its foot and its leg, quick to snatch its stiletto from its garter—” Read it in the next issue._—THE EDITOR. By REV. “GOLIGHTLY” MORRILL Pastor People’s Church, Minneapolis, Minn. Buenos Aires, Argentina, and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, have the dual reputation of being the Sodom and Gomorrah of South America.