Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 2, No. 18, March, 1921: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
General
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 2, No. 18, March, 1921: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
During the past month, we have received an inquiry from a reader asking
us to define a “lounge lizard.” We have nothing of that caliber in this
rural community of Robbinsdale. Most of us are poor financially, but
strong in the knowledge of Mother Nature and the homely ways of the farm
and fireside. During the midst of our studies, we journeyed through
Shakespeare’s immortal “King Lear,” and in the scene before Gloucester’s
castle, we find the following:
Kent: Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald: What does thou know me for?
Kent: A knave, a rascal; and an eater of broken meats; a base,
proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred pound, filthy,
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action taking knave,
a glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue. One that
would’st be a bawd in the way of good service, and are nothing
but the mad composition of a knave, beggar, coward, and the son
and heir of a mongrel; one whom I would beat into a clamoured
whining if thou denyest the least syllable of thy addition.
We have omitted some expressions from this denunciation. We have
deliberately weakened it. We cannot find it in our soul possible to
condemn any fellow man in such language as Shakespeare uses. We follow
the quaint philosophy that every man has a redeeming quality and that
none combines the bald badness which Kent ascribes to Oswald. In our
community, a man denounces another in few words. We shake our fist and
call our enemy “a blankey-blank-son-of-a-blank.” Our language may not be
as polished as Shakespeare, but it seems to satisfy the vendor.
* * * * *
Wonder what a dog thinks about while he sits hours at a time watching his
master bending over a battered desk pecking with two pitchfork-blistered
fingers at a typewriter model of 1898?
Have you ever stopped to consider the dog? I’ll admit that in the eight
years my collie breed “Shep” has been my faithful companion, I have never
stopped to give him thanks or to reason with myself why this dumb beast
should love me so.
As I work here by my old desk in Whiz Bang headquarters, “Shep” sits on
his hind quarters panting. Occasionally, as I turn in a friendly glance,
he points his nose as if inviting an affectionate pat. “Shep” seems to
approve of my magazine. I really believe he understands what it is. He
seems never so happy or affectionate as when he sits beside me in my
study. When I’m in the field he saunters about, paying little attention
to me, but here in the study he seems vitally and keenly interested. His
attitude brings me to Senator Vest’s plea for a dog.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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