Two girls from the city were spending their vacation in a small town in the middle west, and at the house where they were stopping was a devout old man who believed that the blue Sunday laws should go into effect full blast. It so happened that the girls were in the parlor one Sunday morning, playing the popular airs, when the devout sir entered and said: “Do you know this is Sunday?” “Sure, what’s the big idea?” “Do you know the ten commandments?” “Well, if you whistle the first two or three bars I might get them.” * * * * * It isn’t the things we’ve won and possessed that fill the coffers of life to overflowing. It’s the things we’ve lost, the things that make for sweet memories. That’s the sum and substance of life that endures—memories and their lessons. * * * * * This is March, the month when the wind is tempered either to the lion or to the shorn lamb, and soon the grass will be green and the wind will be tempered for the silk-clad calf. Oh, boys, I’ll say we can anticipate! * * * * * When the ball bearings of the new association of nations get rolling smoothly, we understand that Jerusalem will be given to the Jews, Ireland to the Irish, Iceland to the icemen and New York City to the United States. * * * * * A Church Scandal The little man approached a saleswoman and sputtered: “Y-you got me into a pickle, you did.” “I don’t understand,” the girl replied, timidly. “You remember when I came in here to pick out a silk dress for my wife, don’t you?” “Yes.” “And you remember we asked the assistance of the lady who was buying a kiltie skirt for her little girl?” “Yes—yes.” “W-w-well, you got the parcels mixed, that’s what you did, and I took that little kiltie skirt home to my wife.” “I’m awfully sorry, sir, but, of course we can put that right.” “How?” “I can change the skirt.” “I know you can, but that isn’t the trouble. My wife opened the parcel while I was away, thought it was the latest style, and wore the wretched thing to church on Sunday.” * * * * * Smith Family Accounted For A Chicago school girl, in her history examination, answered that Jamestown, Virginia, was settled in 1607 and there were 120 deaths and 72 births the first year, “due to the efforts of Capt. John Smith.” * * * * * Hubby for Her A lady heard that her two sons were in the habit each at separate times and quite unknown to each other, of taking one of the maids “out for a lark.” Fearing to bring down on their devoted heads the wrath of their father by making a bother about it, she asked them quietly if it were true, but could obtain no satisfactory reply.