No, but I’ve got him going. * * * * * Second Stanza Getting married: Meet me at eleven and by twelve we’ll be one. Getting divorced: Meet me at twelve and by one we’ll be two. * * * * * A raisin in wine saves time. * * * * * Famous Army Songs The Larger the Spoon the Louder the Noise. * * * * * Gus, our hired man, says he was engaged to a girl who had a wooden leg, but he broke it off. * * * * * Latest Popular Song “Babes in the Wood,” by James A. Stillman. _Classified Ads_ Want One, Girls? (From Minneapolis Journal.) “For Sale—1920 Mormon chummy.” * * * * * There Must Be a Reason (From the Warren, Ohio, Tribune.) Wanted—Gentleman I spent Sunday evening with to write me at my address in the office where I am employed. I couldn’t act different from what I did.—Dot. * * * * * Chicago Has Preferences (From Chicago Tribune) To Rent—Studio apartment with private bath; married couple preferred. 58 E. Elm Street. * * * * * Oak Cliff’s Secret (From Dallas Dispatch) Lost—Monday, in Oak Cliff, one Spencer corset, slightly used. Suitable reward. * * * * * Here’s An Easy Job! (From Tampa Times) Wanted—Gas engine man on twin party boat. Little pay, lots of fun, no work. Phone 71-042. * * * * * Sodaeye, Do You? “Give me a plain soda without any flavor.” “What kind of flavor would you like it without?” “Oh! I’d like it without vanilla flavor.” “Sorry, sir! I’m out of vanilla. You will have to have it without chocolate, sir.” * * * * * Where They Rattle Two little girls were playing on the street and a well-dressed lady passed them with swish and a whirl. By the noise it was evident that she wore a silk petticoat. “What makes that noise?” whispered one little girl, with a wondering look. “Sh!” said the other child, in a low voice, “don’t you know she’s got money? Rich folks always rattle and smell good.” * * * * * Frank Lynn’s Dope When skirts and waist lines meet as one, ’Twill be as when the world begun, And in fig leaves again we’ll roam, And wonder still why the men leave home. * * * * * The Anti-Cigarette Crusaders “I can’t understand how men can put those nasty pipes and cigarettes to their lips,” she mourned, and then bent to kiss the little bundle of life in her lap. And the poodle dog, sympathizing, snuggled closer against its mistress’ swan-like neck and wagged its little tail. _Our Rural Mail Box_