* * * * * A Sun Dodger They sat in the park, out there in the dark, And the chaperone thought it quite shocking; She found ’em all right, for she saw in the night, The radium clock on each stocking. * * * * * We Clipped This (From Fayetteville Press.) Shore is tough these days, to try to tell a girl a good joke and have her say: “Never mind, I read Whiz Bang myself.” * * * * * It wasn’t the drink that killed poor John, Nor a sight that took his breath, But he read a Whiz Bang, so ’tis said, And laughed himself to death. * * * * * An Alabam’ Ad Wanted—Boy for bakery. Must come well bred, an early riser, born in the yeast, a good mixer and will get his dough every Saturday night. * * * * * _When Phyllis lets me tie her shoe_ _My glad heart sings. Indeed,_ _I do declare, I wouldn’t care_ _Were she a centipede._ * * * * * Rosy Roses of Army Daze A Camp Dix, N. J., “shave-tail” was giving his men a talk on personal hygiene. Finishing his verbal exploitation, he said: “ ... and men, profit by my example; when I finish drilling in the afternoon, the first thing I do is to take a bath and shave; then, when I retire I feel rosy and cheerful.” Whereupon one of his disciples emerged from the ranks with his hand raised to a salute, saying: “Beg pardon, lieutenant, but we ain’t got any Rosy.” * * * * * There was a young person named Willy Whose actions were what you’d call silly; He went to a ball, Dressed in nothing at all, Pretending to represent Chili. * * * * * Prohibition Proverbs No brew venture, no brew have. Empty flask never won fair lady. A case in the cellar is worth two in the brewery. Much falls between the hip and the lip. He that reckons without his cellar must reckon again. A fool’s flask is soon empty. As you brew so shall you be respected. One good sip deserves another. If you drink before you try, you may repent before you die. * * * * * Some Female Types The Alarm Clock Type—Shrill voice, large hands and a plain face. The Wrist Watch Type—Small framed, handsomely embellished; very erratic. The Mantel-piece Type—Pretty features, with nothing reliable behind them. The Big Ben Type—Hardest to face in the morning. The Wall Type—Very fancy, having a good swing, and goes “Cuckoo” without attention. The Eight-day Type—Steady and reliable, but, once started, stops for nothing less than an axe. The Ingersoll Type—Goes through fire, flood, famine and earthquake without changing in constancy, yet, once lost, its owner doesn’t think it worth the price of an advertisement. * * * * *