After marriage, With angry glare, She grabs her slipper And bangs her heir. * * * * * Ask Bob He Knows A miss is as good as a mile, A kiss is as good as a smile, But four painted kings Are the beautiful things That are good for the other man’s pile. * * * * * The ballet’s not the drawing card That once it used to be. Ah! when it dies, may some good bard Indite its L. E. G. * * * * * “How do you like codfish balls?” I said to sister Jenny. “Well, really May, I couldn’t say, I have never been to any.” * * * * * Poor Lot’s wife turned to salt, alas! Her fate was most unkind. No doubt she only wished to see How hung her skirt behind. * * * * * The Power of the “Press” “Now, girls,” warned the Sunday School teacher, “I want to caution you against making friends with the new barber who has just opened a shop in the village. A friend of mine who knew him in the town where he was reared tells me he tries to make love to every girl he calls on.” “The girls in this burg are sure friendly,” confided the new barber to one of his patrons two days later. “Last night I took a stroll around the town and every girl I met smiled at me.” * * * * * The lightning flashed, the lightning crashed, The skies were rent asunder, With shriek and wail loud blew the gale, And then it rained like thunder. * * * * * Wall, I Calc’late! “Well, Si,” asked the justice of the peace of the lone constable, “what is this man charged with?” “Bigotry,” answered Si. “He’s got three wives.” “By gosh, Si,” exclaimed his honor, “where’s your education? That ain’t bigotry, that’s trigonometry!” * * * * * We’d Say So When a young man with his arm around a girl lets a lighted cigarette fall inside his sport shirt and it feels like a drop of ice water, it is time either to propose or go home. * * * * * Female detectives should be good lookers. _Naughty New York!_ It looks like a pretty dreadful affair all the way ’round to me; here’s Mrs. Lydig Hoyt says that skirts gotta come down because the girls are wearing them to the ankles in Paris; but here’s little Betty Compson, the movie princess, says they are not to come down—not even to the ankles.