* * * * * _Ancient But True_ Here’s that we may swear, steal, and lie; When we swear may it be by the hand of justice; When we steal may it be away from bad company; When we lie may it be in the arms of the one we love best. * * * * * U’re Right, Professorette A wise woman once said there are three follies of men. The first is climbing trees to shake down the fruit, when if they would wait long enough the fruit would fall of its own weight; the second is going to war to kill each other, when, if they only waited, they would die naturally, and the third, that they run after women when, if they would not do so, women would be sure to run after them. * * * * * Before Prohibition: “See your own country first.” After: “Visit foreign lands and see your own country’s thirst.” * * * * * Customer—“Bring me a Typographical Error.” Waiter (returning from kitchen)—“Sorry, we have none.” Customer—“Well, here it is on the menu.” * * * * * A Sad Story Ikey and Pat were wounded in an engagement in the Argonne. A priest making the rounds found them. After giving the Irishman the last rites he then went over to Ikey and asked, “Do you believe in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost?” Ikey groaned and rolled over. “Oi, Oi! Here I am dying and you ask me riddles.” _Our Rural Mail Box_ =_C. U. Later_=—Sunday is the strongest day. All of the rest are weak days. * * * * * =_Sin O. Nimm_=—Sorry, I can’t place you, but your breath smells familiar. * * * * * =_Unicorn_=—No, Uni, wrinkles do not denote the age of a prune. * * * * * =_I. C. S. Student_=—You ask me what is the most advisable course in the mining study to take up. Would suggest that you take up Kalso Mining. * * * * * =_Reggie_=—Yes, Reginald, ’tis true, only too true, that if the man in the moon had a baby he’d have the sky rocket. * * * * * =_Doc. Brady_=—As an instant relief for sore feet would suggest that you walk on your hands. * * * * * =_Run-Down Ikey_=—A sure way to acquire more initiative and pep is to wave a red shirt in front of Pedro. * * * * * Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it. * * * * * Our Exchange Story