Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 25, October, 1921: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
General
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 25, October, 1921: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
So divine marriage prevailed, it consisted of taking a person as your
mate in the sight of God and when tired of them give them the gate,
and daily and nightly they gamboled lightly on the lee, little elfins
scantily clad could be seen flitting hither and thither in the moonlight
and they held earthly communication in the doorways; in the early
mornings could be seen the spirit dance around the red flag of love, and
many a bungalow sweetie could be seen looking longingly toward Glasswell
Park. It got so bad that the dearies thought they were going to lose
their sweet man and they all began to squawk in accents bold.
They yelped so loud that they were heard in Los Angeles, and straightway
two noble minions of the law set forth to quiet the rumpus. When they
arrived and asked what it was all about, they were informed this was the
temple of Helois where the disabled vets were soon to reside and where
St. Mary’s cradle was to be founded to care for all the babies that were
not otherwise cared for. Here was to be the goat farm to feed said babies
that their mothers might commune with the spirits unhampered; here was to
be the boat landing where the fishermen would land nightly after their
day’s fishing to feed the vets and the other members of the colony. Here
was everything.
The law was not satisfied and escorted her forth to durance vile, and
accused her of lots of things she didn’t understand, but she remained
unruffled and when safely situated in the county hotel, broke forth in a
fit of poetry—
Red Is the Color of Love
_Because in the hope to save the world,_
_She had questioned not nor fled,_
_But only kept the banner unfurled,_
_Whose only color is red._
_For red is the color of love,_
_And red is the holy one’s desire,_
_And red is the place where love makes his bed,_
_And red is the color of fire._
_And red is the thing that we do and dare,_
_When we snatch the fire brand_
_And touch the flame to the devil’s lair,_
_Who tortures its by his hand._
_And red is the hole in the depths of the earth,_
_We would bury the demon in_
_Who has laughed in such fiendish and lawless mirth_
_At the wages of lust and sin._
Now all is quiet at Helios; no more do they dance in the pale moonlight;
no more is the scorpion hurled forth to the bungalows, no more do the
goats bleat and disturb he who would sleep; now the sweeties have
returned to their previous love, and all is well.
* * * * *
The other day the little town of Manhattan on the ocean near Los Angeles
passed an ordinance setting a penalty for swimming without the sometimes
necessary bathing suit, but they claim it was not without cause, for it
got so bad that certain persons after swimming were going uptown for
lunch without taking the necessary time to cover their earthly charms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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