* * * * * _The most disgusting sight in the world is to see another fellow in an automobile with your best girl._ * * * * * The old inhabitant says, “I kin remember when a young lady passed you, you always could hear the rustle of stiffly starched skirts.” * * * * * Naughty Egg I wish I was a crow’s egg As bad as bad can be, All cuddled up in a little nest Way up in a big tree. And when a grinning little boy Looked up at me in glee, I’d bust my naughty little self And sprinkle him with me. * * * * * The Diamond Queen Now on one hand she has an immense fortune and on the other hand she has warts. * * * * * When a girl casts her bread upon the waters, she expects it to come back in the shape of a wedding cake. * * * * * _One of the season’s popular football rooters’ song is that old familiar ballad “After the Ball.”_ * * * * * The Hootch Hound’s Lament It’s easy to stay two-thirds pickled all day, Get drunk and sleep out in the yard, But to put in a night without one drink in sight; It’s the getting back sober that’s hard. * * * * * Love is a hallucination that makes an otherwise sane man believe he can set up housekeeping on a gas stove and a canary bird. * * * * * St. Paul Blues _When I’m dead bury me deep,_ _Bury me in the middle of St. Peter street;_ _Put my hands across my chest_ _And tell the girls I’ve gone to rest._ * * * * * _“What a curve,” said the garter, as it came around the last stretch._ * * * * * Many a girl who never had her ears pierced has frequently had them bored. _Movie Hot Stuff_ Mrs. Juanita M. Cohen has filed a heart-balm suit for $50,000 against Jackie Saunders for the loss of the love and affection of J. Warde Cohen, her husband. Jackie affirms that Mr. Cohen has no love for his wife and that no pretty stranger can steal anything which doesn’t exist. Jackie and her lawyers cite several scenes that have taken place between the Cohens, all to prove that the little God Eros was not about. Rather a clever way to turn the matter about, Jackie! * * * * * At several recent parties and dinners attended by film stars and given since the Arbuckle affair has been disclosed, the picture people have not refused cocktails or wine offered by the host. The picture people have been drinking their cocktails with a bit of defiance as if to show the world that “there are plenty of us who can drink with moderation and do nothing to hurt our neighbor or disgrace the community.”