I said she’d made with me a hit— Very well. Perhaps I was a trifle lit— Very well. I told her that she was divine, She let me hold her hand in mine, In short—I handed out my line Very well. I whispered softly in her ear, Very well. ’Twas, how appropriately! dear— Very well. I drew her snugly to my breast, While she, not daring to protest Cleaned out the pockets of my vest. Very well. * * * * * A Tough Steak Cannibal No. 1—What makes the chief such a bunk spreader? Cannibal No. 2—He just ate the editor of Whiz Bang. * * * * * Nah, Nah! “Is my wife forward?” asked the passenger on the Limited. “She wasn’t to me sir,” answered the conductor politely. _Whiz Bang Editorials_ “_The Bull is Mightier Than the Bullet._” Hats off to a real man of the cloth. The Rev. D. H. Jones has resigned the pulpit of Huntington Park, California, Baptist Church, because of the fanatical attempts of his flock to enforce Sunday closing. “I prefer to dwell with the worldling and be true to my inner self than to live with the saint and betray it,” Reverend Jones says. “There is a way to make the church the super-attraction; but it will never be done by coercing the consciences of men. The Cross of Christ is proving to be the greatest magnet in the world, but use it as a club, and it will become a colossal failure.” “Killed professionally, yes. But, frankly, I would rather be a man than a minister. Character is greater than profession.” “I would just as soon believe that the perfume of the rose comes from the polecat as to believe that the spirit of the blue laws comes from God.” “Christ whipped men out of the church, but never into it. ‘Professional reformers’ and ‘Christian lobbyists’ at Washington may mean well, but most of them are misguided swivel-chair heroes of the Cross.” “‘Close every door except the church’s,’ cries the reformer, forgetting that open hearts are greater inducements than closed doors.” “The doctrine behind the blue laws is this: ‘I am in the right and you are in the wrong. When you are stronger than I, you ought to tolerate; for it is your duty to tolerate truth. But when I am the stronger, I shall persecute you; for it is my duty to persecute error.’” “All the proposed Sunday legislation is simply a human attempt to whitewash what God designed to wash white. To condemn movies because some things may be objectionable is like refusing to eat fish because it contains bones.” “When human passion is subdued, when the turbulent tide ebbs, we see that the big thing that lies at the bottom of the opposition of theatre opening on Sunday, is simply bigotry.”