Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 30, February, 1922: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and FilosophyVarious
General
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 30, February, 1922: America's Magazine of Wit, Humor and Filosophy
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
“Away back in the early 80’s Union Square in New York was
called ‘The Rialto’ agreeable to the fact that it was the
theatrical center of America. On the corner of Fourth avenue
and Fourteenth street, a very excellent saloon was run by Joe
Schmidt and it was kept fairly full from noon to midnight with
respectable members of the sock and buskin, and amusement
promoters. One Saturday evening in August, 1887, a table in
front of the bar was occupied by a bunch of managers. We were
combining business with pleasure, booking time and enjoying the
very excellent beer and spirits available in those happy days.
It was probably about 11 o’clock when a mendicant shambled in
and approached our table. With a sad, husky voice, he said,
‘Gentlemen, I want a drink.’ All eyes were turned to the
derelict and someone at the table offered one of the untasted
glasses of whisky which was quickly swallowed. Joe behind the
bar yelled, ‘Get out.’
“The waiter in front quickly seized the beggar and threw him
out of the swinging door; to make the situation more dramatic,
a rough haired terrier dog named ‘Toby’ and pet of the saloon
jumped at the poor devil and fastened on his pants. ‘Toby’
always thought it his duty to chase poor people, and had an
innate antipathy to jumpers or pants not duly pressed.
“Well, several of the party got up from the table and went out
to see what had happened to the poor wretch. He was lying on
the sidewalk with his face halfway in the gutter. We gathered
him up, brushed him off a little, wiped his face and someone
went into the saloon and brought out another drink of whisky.
Several coins were carefully dropped into the inside pocket of
his coat. This was done surreptitiously so that he would not
know the money was there until the tomorrow. As we left him on
a door step next door I asked what his trade was and he managed
to tell me he was an artist. I held that this man was not a
professional beggar, a derelict true, but probably had once
been a talented man. The argument was taken up by several other
gentlemen in the room and waxed warm until I got angry and with
a curt “good night” bolted out of the saloon. On my way home,
I determined to write up the story in such a way as would make
my argument good and satisfy Joe Schmidt that I was not wholly
chicken-hearted. I also was pretty sure of winning the fair
hostess to my way of thinking. As I walked along I composed in
my mind the first two lines:
_“’Twas a balmy summer evening and a goodly crowd was there,_
_That well-nigh filled Joe’s bar-room on the corner of the
Square.”_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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