_“Very—she won’t even look at the weather strip on the house!”_ * * * * * Slobbering Blues “Let me kiss those tears away!” he begged tenderly. She fell in his arms, and he was busy for the next few moments. And yet the tears flowed on. “Can nothing stop them?” he asked, breathlessly sad. “No,” she murmured; “it is hay fever, you know. But go on with the treatment.” * * * * * Encore Ha Ha Mr. Jones had recently become the father of twins. The minister stopped him in the street to congratulate him. “Well, Jones, I hear that the Lord has smiled on you,” he said. “Smiled on me!” repeated Jones. “He laughed out loud at me.” * * * * * A Colorado Egg While a Denver physician was inspecting the insane hospital at Pueblo an inmate approached him and asked: “I beg your pardon, sir, but have you a piece of toast?” “No,” replied the doctor, in surprise, “but I can get a piece if you want it badly.” “Oh, I wish you would. I’m a poached egg and I want to sit down.” * * * * * Jockey thrown in first race at New Orleans: “Let Zybszko ride him.” * * * * * A Startling Exegesis At a colored camp meeting in Louisiana the following sermon was delivered by a very black old darky, wearing huge spectacles: “Brethren and Sistren, de preachifying dis mawnin’ will be from de text on de 10 virgins. De bridegroom war a-coming and ’spectin’ dem 10 virgins to be ready wif dere lamps all trimmed and a-burnin’, but, lo, when he was come he done foun’ dat on’y five of dem virgins war ready; yessir, five was trimmed and five was ontrimmed; five was wise and five was onwise; five was ready and five was onready; five was male and five was female.”—Harper’s Magazine. * * * * * Must Be Dr. Cupid “I don’t like your heart action,” said the doctor, applying his stethoscope. “You’ve had some trouble with angina pectoris, haven’t you?” “You’re partly right, Doc,” answered the young man, sheepishly. “Only that ain’t her name.”—Pathfinder. * * * * * Roll ’Em Out Kid When I was farmin’ in North Dakota I raised spuds an’ one day I went out to see how my spuds was comin’. The patch was right on a side hill. Well, sir, do you know that when I pulled up that vine two bushels of spuds rolled out of that hill before I could plug up the hole. * * * * * The Piping Costs The colored minister had just concluded a powerful sermon on “Salvation is Free” and was announcing that a collection would be taken. Up jumped a brother in the back of the church. “If salvation is free,” he interrupted, “what’s the use paying for it? I’m going to give you nothing till I find out. Now—”