That even a bow-legged, lath-framed youth, wearing checked trousers and smoking a cigarette that smelt worse than a burning boot, rattled on the back door and the girl knocked four tumblers and a cut glass fruit dish off the sideboard in her haste to get to him. * * * * * The New Nursery _Dickering, dickering, Doc,_ _With patients lined up a block,_ _With fits and conniptions_ _They wait for prescriptions:_ _“Liquor me, liquor me, Doc.”_ —_A. J. S._ * * * * * Long, Long Ago We like the story from Ralph Neville’s “Mayfair and Montmartre,” of the little chorus lady who, when her rich admirer had bought her some charming underclothing, said to him in the shop as they were being packed: “Now have a good look at them, for you’ll never see them again.” This, of course, occurred in the long, long ago Victorian days. * * * * * Zup, Kid? While in Jacksonville I chanced into a Greek restaurant and of the waiter inquired what they had for dinner. Small Stack Medyum Rust Baff Hom on Eggs Chicken Frazee Appolis Pie Pach Pie Strubberry Pie Grap Frut Zup, Kid? * * * * * A normal woman would joyously go through life with a pirate or yeggman who would drug her with the opiate of flattery, in preference to hooking onto a nincompoop tango lizard who refreshes her with eternal, infernal, divinal criticism. * * * * * Consolation Kiddoo “If I die,” said the sick man gloomily, “what will become of you and the children?” “Oh, don’t worry, darling,” replied the little woman. “I’ll soon find somebody to take care of us.” * * * * * No Offense Here, Paddy An Irishman while on his way to call upon his best girl suddenly caught sight of a beautiful parrot in a nearby tree. He decided it would be just the present for her. Slowly he drew near the bird and upon reaching one of the highest branches, was just about to grab his prey when the parrot, who had been eyeing him sharply, suddenly squawked, “Well, what do you want?” Pat withdrew his hand and humbly made answer, “Excuse me. Er—I thought you was a bird.” * * * * * Let’s sing it again: “And when they asked her why the ’el she wore it, Oh, she wore it for her lover who was far, far away.” Now for the chorus: “Far away, far away, oh, she wore it, etc.” * * * * * Hot Stuff They arrived home late from the party. Wife took off her hat and slammed it on the floor. Then she confronted her hubby. “I’ll never take you to another party as long as I live!” she said. “Why?” he calmly wanted to know. “You asked Mrs. Jones how her husband has been standing the heat.” “Well?” “Well, her husband has been dead two months.”