She had only been married a few weeks; and she loved her husband so
dearly that to speak of him to any one, to an inn-servant, for
example, seemed sacrilegious to her. She felt this very strongly at
this moment, though she longed to ask Jessie where her husband might
be found. She felt some slight displeasure at her husband’s absence,
for he had never before left her for so long. This breakfast had been
the first meal eaten apart since the day of their marriage. When
Jessie had left the room, she looked at her image in the mirror,
straightening the laces at her throat and smoothing the heavy hair,
one of her chief beauties. She loved her husband. All other men were
mere creatures to her--creatures with no splendour of circling memory,
creatures of dust. But the announcement that Captain Margaret was even
then without, waiting to be admitted, was somehow affecting. She felt
touched, perhaps a little piqued. He had loved her, still loved her,
she felt. She had never much cared for him, though she had found a
sort of dreadful pleasure in the contemplation of her power over him.
At the moment, she felt a little pity for him, and then a little pity
for herself. Now that she was married, she thought, she would be
unattractive to him; her power would be gone; and as that was the
first time the thought had come to her, it made her almost sad, as
though she were parting with a beautiful memory, with a part of her
youth, with a part of her youthful beauty. Her look into the glass was
anxious. She was eager to look her best, to make the most of her pale
beauty; for (like less intelligent women) she believed that it was her
beauty which most appealed to him. As a matter of fact it was the
refinement of her voice which swayed him, her low voice, full of
music, full of intensity, of which each note told of an inner grace,
of some beauty of mind unattainable by men, but sometimes worshipped
by them. She was not a clever talker. Her power lay in sympathy, in
creating talk in others, for when she was of a company it was as
though music were being played; the talk showed fine feeling; at
least, the talkers went away delighted. She had a little beauty. Her
eyes were beautiful; her hair was beautiful; but beautiful beyond all
physical beauty was the beauty of her earnest voice, so unspeakably
refined and pure, coming holy from the inner shrine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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