Old Phin Gan-dowdy, He’th an’ old rowdy. J. Q. A. This is the way you’ll look when you are a loveress. (_Imitates a fine young lady._) How are you, Hank! Mrs. Henry Mudgitt! L. J. Go way—you gump! MRS. G. Do, children, stop yer bickerin’! (_To_ MARY) I declare for’t’ I hate to hev yer go so far from hum. But, then (_with a sigh_), my mother lives e’en a’most to the jumpin’-off place daown East; and I hain’t seen her this five year. CAPT. G. (_goes to_ MRS. G. _and puts hand on her shoulder_). It’s the way o’ natur’, mother. The Bible says: “A man shall leave his father and mother, an’ shall be united to his wife.” J. Q. A. Well, father, it don’t say _she_ shall. It says _he_. CAPT. G. It means the same, any way. The Bible allus means she when it says he. It means ’em both. Genesis says, yer know, chap. V., verse 2, Male and female created he them, an’ blessed them, an’ called their name Adam, in the day when they was created. The Bible said that in the beginning. Even old Pete Rosson allows that. MRS. G. I wonder yer hadn’t thought o’ that when yer sold my caarf, _aour_ caarf, mine as well as yourn. CAPT. G. (_walking off_). I van! I never did. MRS. G. If he did creat’ men an’ wimmin ekal, an’ call their name Adam, just as we call aourn Gandy, one on us has no right to sell the things that belong to both without askin’ each other’s leave. CAPT. G. (_returning_). I don’t s’pose they have, Lorany. If yer don’t beat ’em all in an argiment. (_Aside_) Hang that caarf! Come, mother, don’t let’s bicker any more abaout that. (_To_ MARY) Yer’ll have quite a weddin’ tower, won’t ye, Mary, ’way out onto the Mississippi? Yer’ll have ter work spry ter git yer weddin’ toggery ready. Whar yer goin’ ter be married; ter hum? MRS. G. Lucky I saved my old receipee for weddin’ cake. WILL. We think we’d better go to the minister’s, and have it done quiet like, the very morning before we start. We sha’n’t feel like making much of a touse about it, ’cause everybody ’ll be crying to see Mary go off. MRS. G. And, then, our relations live so far off, they couldn’t any on’ em come. Lucky yer made them sheets, Mary. Yer wouldn’t ’a’ had half time enough naow to get ’em done. CAPT. G. I van! mother. It reminds me o’ the time when we went to live on the Nancy Paige. MRS. G. So it does me. CAPT. G. There’s nothing like the sea to live on, is there, mother? (_Sings._) “I’m on the sea, I am where I would ever be, The deep, the dark, the rolling sea.” MARY. You’ll have to sing it “river” for us, father. J. Q. A. (_takes up the refrain, and snaps his whip at the end of each line_). I am where I would ever be-iver, The deep, the dark, the rolling re-iver. L. J. Thtop! you thap-head (_sap-head_), you thilly coot! (WILLIAM _and_ MARY _whisper together_.) CAPT. G. I guess I’ll go an’ fodder them caows. (_Humming._) “An’ turnin’ raound he straight did feel A pywison sarpient byite hywis hee-ee-el.” (_Exit_ R.)