“Listen attentively to what I am about to say,” said Marguerite, “and
above all, consider it as a justification of myself, and not intended as
a reproach to others. If my mother--and God forbid that I should accuse
her, for a holy duty keeps her apart from us--if my mother had been,
I was about to say, toward me as other mothers are towards their
daughters, I should constantly have opened my heart to her as a book;
at the first word traced upon it by any stranger hand, she would have
warned me of my danger and I should have avoided it. Had I been educated
in the world instead of being brought up like a poor wild flower beneath
the shade of this old castle, I should have learned from infancy the
value of the rank and position which you speak of to-day, and I should,
perhaps, not have infringed the decorum they prescribe, or the duties
they impose. In short, had I been tutored amidst women of the world,
with their sparkling wit and frivolous hearts, whom I have so often
heard you praise, but whom I never knew, had I been guilty of some
faults from levity, which love has caused me to commit--yes, I can well
understand, I might then have forgotten the past, have sown upon the
surface new recollections as flowers are planted upon tombs; and then,
forgetting the place where they had grown, have formed of them a bouquet
for a ball, or a bridal wreath. But unfortunately it is not so, Emanuel.
I was told to beware, when it was too late to avoid the danger. They
spoke to me of my rank and position in society, when I had already
forfeited them, and I am now called upon to look forward to joy in the
future, when my heart is drowned in the tears and misery of the past.”
“And the conclusion of all this,” bitterly rejoined Emanuel.
“The conclusion depends on you alone, Emanuel; it is in your power to
render it, if not happy, at all events becoming. I cannot have recourse
to my father. Alas! I know not even if he could recognise his daughter.
I have no hope in my mother; her glance freezes me, her words are
death to me. You alone, Emanuel, were left to me, to whom I could say,
brother: you are now the head of the family; it is to you alone that we
are answerable for our honor. I have fallen from ignorance, and I have
been punished for my fault as if it had been a wilful crime.”
“Well! well!”, murmured Emanuel impatiently, “what is it that you ask?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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