Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“I won't give any trouble,” said Mr. Travers, who began to think it was
time for the boatswain to appear on the scene. “Why don't you call for
help? I'll go like a lamb.”
“I don't want your advice,” was the reply. “I know what to do. Now,
don't you try and break out. I'm going to fire one barrel out of the
window, but I've got the other one for you if you move.”
“My dear _girl_,” protested the horrified Mr. Travers, “you'll alarm
the neighbourhood.”
“Just what I want to do,” said the voice. “Keep still, mind.”
Mr. Travers hesitated. The game was up, and it was clear that in any
case the stratagem of the ingenious Mr. Benn would have to be disclosed.
“Stop!” he said, earnestly. “Don't do anything rash. I'm not a burglar;
I'm doing this for a friend of yours—Mr. Benn.”
“_What?_” said an amazed voice.
“True as I stand here,” asseverated Mr. Travers. “Here, here's my
instructions. I'll put 'em under the door, and if you go to the back
window you'll see him in the garden waiting.”
He rustled the paper under the door, and it was at once snatched from
his fingers. He regained an upright position and stood listening to the
startled and indignant exclamations of his gaoler as she read the
boatswain's permit:
“_This is to give notice that I, George Benn, being of
sound mind and body, have told Ned Travers to pretend to
be a burglar at Mrs. Waters's. He ain't a burglar, and
I shall be outside all the time. It's all above-board
and ship-shape._
“_(Signed) George Benn_”
“Sound mind—above-board—ship-shape,” repeated a dazed voice.
“_Where is he?_”
“Out at the back,” replied Mr. Travers. “If you go to the window you can
see him. Now, do put something round your shoulders, there's a good
girl.”
There was no reply, but a board creaked. He waited for what seemed a
long time, and then the board creaked again.
“Did you see him?” he inquired.
“I did,” was the sharp reply. “You both ought to be ashamed of
yourselves. You ought to be punished.”
“There _is_ a clothes-peg sticking into the back of my head,” remarked Mr.
Travers. “What are you going to do?”
There was no reply.
“What are you going to do?” repeated Mr. Travers, somewhat uneasily.
“You look too nice to do anything hard; leastways, so far as I can judge
through this crack.”
There was a smothered exclamation, and then sounds of somebody moving
hastily about the room and the swish of clothing hastily donned.
“You ought to have done it before,” commented the thoughtful Mr.
Travers. “It's enough to give you your death of cold.”
“Mind your business,” said the voice, sharply. “Now, if I let you out,
will you promise to do exactly as I tell you?”
“Honour bright,” said Mr. Travers, fervently.
“I'm going to give Mr. Benn a lesson he won't forget,” proceeded the
other, grimly. “I'm going to fire off this gun, and then run down and
tell him I've killed you.”
“_Eh?_” said the amazed Mr. Travers. “Oh, Lord!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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