Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
One time when 'e was ashore with Peter Russet and Ginger Dick he seemed
to 'ave got it on the brain. He started being careful of 'is money
instead o' spending it, and three mornings running he bought a newspaper
and read the advertisements, to see whether there was any comfortable
berth for a strong, good-'arted man wot didn't like work.
He actually went arter one situation, and, if it hadn't ha' been for
seventy-nine other men, he said he believed he'd ha' had a good chance
of getting it. As it was, all 'e got was a black eye for shoving another
man, and for a day or two he was so down-'arted that 'e was no company
at all for the other two.
For three or four days 'e went out by 'imself, and then, all of a
sudden, Ginger Dick and Peter began to notice a great change in him. He
seemed to 'ave got quite cheerful and 'appy. He answered 'em back
pleasant when they spoke to 'im, and one night he lay in 'is bed
whistling comic songs until Ginger and Peter Russet 'ad to get out o'
bed to him. When he bought a new necktie and a smart cap and washed
'imself twice in one day they fust began to ask each other wot was up,
and then they asked him.
“Up?” ses Sam; “nothing.”
“He's in love,” ses Peter Russet.
“You're a liar,” ses Sam, without turning round.
“He'll 'ave it bad at 'is age,” ses Ginger.
Sam didn't say nothing, but he kept fidgeting about as though 'e'd got
something on his mind. Fust he looked out o' the winder, then he 'ummed
a tune, and at last, looking at 'em very fierce, he took a tooth-brush
wrapped in paper out of 'is pocket and began to clean 'is teeth.
“He _is_ in love,” ses Ginger, as soon as he could speak.
“Or else 'e's gorn mad,” ses Peter, watching 'im. “Which is it, Sam?”
Sam made believe that he couldn't answer 'im because o' the tooth-brush,
and arter he'd finished he 'ad such a raging toothache that 'e sat in a
corner holding 'is face and looking the pictur' o' misery. They couldn't
get a word out of him till they asked 'im to go out with them, and then
he said 'e was going to bed. Twenty minutes arterwards, when Ginger Dick
stepped back for 'is pipe, he found he 'ad gorn.
He tried the same game next night, but the other two wouldn't 'ave it,
and they stayed in so long that at last 'e lost 'is temper, and, arter
wondering wot Ginger's father and mother could ha' been a-thinking
about, and saying that he believed Peter Russet 'ad been changed at
birth for a sea-sick monkey, he put on 'is cap and went out. Both of 'em
follered 'im sharp, but when he led 'em to a mission-hall, and actually
went inside, they left 'im and went off on their own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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