Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“Well, you've got it,” ses Mrs. Cook, “and now you can go.”
“You're pi'soning the air of my front parlour,” ses old Cook, opening
the winder a little at the top.
“P'r'aps I ain't so bad as you think I am,” ses Jack Bates, still
looking at Emma, and with that 'e walked over to Charlie and dumped down
the money on the table in front of 'im. “Take it,” he ses, “and don't
borrow any more. I make you a free gift of it. P'r'aps my 'art ain't as
black as my face,” he ses, turning to Mrs. Cook.
They was all so surprised at fust that they couldn't speak, but old Cook
smiled at 'im and put the winder up agin. And Charlie Tagg sat there arf
mad with temper, looking as though 'e could eat Jack Bates without any
salt, as the saying is.
“I—I can't take it,” he ses at last, with a stammer.
“Can't take it? Why not?” ses old Cook, staring. “This gentleman 'as
given it to you.” “A free gift,” ses Mrs. Cook, smiling at Jack very
sweet.
“I can't take it,” ses Charlie, winking at Jack to take the money up and
give it to 'im quiet, as arranged. “I 'ave my pride.”
“So 'ave I,” ses Jack. “Are you going to take it?”
Charlie gave another look. “No,” he ses, “I cant take a favour. I
borrowed the money and I'll pay it back.
“Very good,” ses Jack, taking it up. “It's my money, ain't it?”
“Yes,” ses Charlie, taking no notice of Mrs. Cook and 'er husband, wot
was both talking to 'im at once, and trying to persuade 'im to alter his
mind.
“Then I give it to Miss Emma Cook,” ses Jack Bates, putting it into her
hands. “Good-night everybody and good luck.”
He slammed the front door behind 'im and they 'eard 'im go off down the
road as if 'e was going for fire-engines. Charlie sat there for a moment
struck all of a heap, and then 'e jumped up and dashed arter 'im. He
just saw 'im disappearing round a corner, and he didn't see 'im agin for
a couple o' year arterwards, by which time the Sydney gal had 'ad three
or four young men arter 'im, and Emma, who 'ad changed her name to
Smith, was doing one o' the best businesses in the chandlery line in
Poplar.
THE CONSTABLE'S MOVE
Mr. Bob Grummit sat in the kitchen with his corduroy-clad legs stretched
on the fender. His wife's half-eaten dinner was getting cold on the
table; Mr. Grummit, who was badly in need of cheering up, emptied her
half-empty glass of beer and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“Come away, I tell you,” he called. “D'ye hear? Come away. You'll be
locked up if you don't.”
He gave a little laugh at the sarcasm, and sticking his short pipe in
his mouth lurched slowly to the front-room door and scowled at his wife
as she lurked at the back of the window watching intently the furniture
which was being carried in next door.
“Come away or else you'll be locked up,” repeated Mr. Grummit. “You
mustn't look at policemen's furniture; it's agin the law.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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