Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
He came home at night glum and silent, the hardship of not being able to
give Mr. Evans his deserts without incurring hard labour having weighed
on his spirits all day. To avoid the annoyance of the piano next door,
which was slowly and reluctantly yielding up “The Last Rose of Summer”
note by note, he went out at the back, and the first thing he saw was
Mr. Evans mending his path with tins and other bric-a-brac.
“Nothing like it,” said the constable, looking up. “Your missus gave 'em
to us this morning. A little gravel on top, and there you are.”
He turned whistling to his work again, and the other, after endeavouring
in vain to frame a suitable reply, took a seat on an inverted wash-tub
and lit his pipe. His one hope was that Constable Evans was going to try
and cultivate a garden.
The hope was realized a few days later, and Mr. Grummit at the back
window sat gloating over a dozen fine geraniums, some lobelias and
calceolarias, which decorated the constable's plot of ground. He could
not sleep for thinking of them.
He rose early the next morning, and, after remarking to Mrs. Grummit
that Mr. Evans's flowers looked as though they wanted rain, went off to
his work. The cloud which had been on his spirits for some time had
lifted, and he whistled as he walked. The sight of flowers in front
windows added to his good humour.
He was still in good spirits when he left off work that afternoon,
but some slight hesitation about returning home sent him to the
_Bricklayers' Arms_ instead. He stayed there until closing time, and
then, being still disinclined for home, paid a visit to Bill Smith, who
lived the other side of Tunwich. By the time he started for home it was
nearly midnight.
The outskirts of the town were deserted and the houses in darkness. The
clock of Tunwich church struck twelve, and the last stroke was just
dying away as he turned a corner and ran almost into the arms of the man
he had been trying to avoid.
“Halloa!” said Constable Evans, sharply. “Here, I want a word with you.”
Mr. Grummit quailed. “With me, sir?” he said, with involuntary respect.
“What have you been doing to my flowers?” demanded the other, hotly.
“Flowers?” repeated Mr. Grummit, as though the word were new to him.
“Flowers? What flowers?”
“You know well enough,” retorted the constable. “You got over my fence
last night and smashed all my flowers down.”
“You be careful wot you're saying,” urged Mr. Grummit. “Why, I love
flowers. You don't mean to tell me that all them beautiful flowers wot
you put in so careful 'as been spoiled?”
“You know all about it,” said the constable, choking. “I shall take out
a summons against you for it.”
“Ho!” said Mr. Grummit. “And wot time do you say it was when I done it?”
“Never you mind the time,” said the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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