Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
George didn't get a wink o' sleep all night for thinking of the money he
'ad spent, and next day when he went round he 'ad almost made up 'is
mind to tell Bob that if 'e liked to pay up the money he could 'ave
Gerty back; but she looked so pretty, and praised 'im up so much for 'is
generosity, that he began to think better of it. One thing 'e was
determined on, and that was never to spend money like that agin for
fifty Gertys.
There was a very sensible man there that evening that George liked very
much. His name was Uncle Joe, and when Gerty was praising George to 'is
face for the money he 'ad been spending, Uncle Joe, instead o' looking
pleased, shook his 'ead over it.
“Young people will be young people, I know,” he ses, “but still I don't
approve of extravagance. Bob Evans would never 'ave spent all that money
over you.”
“Bob Evans ain't everybody,” ses Mrs. Mitchell, standing up for Gerty.
“He was steady, anyway,” ses Uncle Joe. “Besides, Gerty ought not to ha'
let Mr. Crofts spend his money like that. She could ha' prevented it if
she'd ha' put 'er foot down and insisted on it.”
He was so solemn about it that everybody began to feel a bit upset, and
Gerty borrowed Ted's pocket-'andkerchief, and then wiped 'er eyes on the
cuff of her dress instead.
“Well, well,” ses Uncle Joe; “I didn't mean to be 'ard, but don't do it
no more. You are young people, and can't afford it.”
“We must 'ave a little pleasure sometimes,” ses Gerty.
“Yes, I know,” ses Uncle Joe; “but there's moderation in everything.
Look 'ere, it's time somebody paid for Mr. Crofts. To-morrow's Saturday,
and, if you like, I'll take you all to the Crystal Palace.”
Gerty jumped up off of 'er chair and kissed 'im, while Mrs. Mitchell
said she knew 'is bark was worse than 'is bite, and asked 'im who was
wasting his money now?
“You meet me at London Bridge Station at two o'clock,” ses Uncle Joe,
getting up to go. “It ain't extravagance for a man as can afford it.”
He shook 'ands with George Crofts and went, and, arter George 'ad stayed
long enough to hear a lot o' things about Uncle Joe which made 'im think
they'd get on very well together, he went off too.
They all turned up very early the next arternoon, and Gerty was dressed
so nice that George couldn't take his eyes off of her. Besides her there
was Mrs. Mitchell and Ted and a friend of 'is named Charlie Smith.
They waited some time, but Uncle Joe didn't turn up, and they all got
looking at the clock and talking about it, and 'oping he wouldn't make
'em miss the train.
“Here he comes!” ses Ted, at last.
Uncle Joe came rushing in, puffing and blowing as though he'd bust.
“Take 'em on by this train, will you?” he ses, catching 'old o' George
by the arm. “I've just been stopped by a bit o' business I must do, and
I'll come on by the next, or as soon arter as I can.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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