Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
The cat was only two years old at the time, and George Barstow, who was
arf crazy with joy, said it shouldn't be 'is fault if it didn't live
another twenty years.
The funny thing was the quiet way Joe Clark took it. He didn't seem to
be at all cut up about it, and when Henery Walker said it was a shame,
'e said he didn't mind, and that George Barstow was a old man, and he
was quite welcome to 'ave the property as long as the cat lived.
“It must come to me by the time I'm an old man,” he ses, “and that's all
I care about.”
Henery Walker went off, and as 'e passed the cottage where old Clark
used to live, and which George Barstow 'ad moved into, 'e spoke to the
old man over the palings and told 'im wot Joe Clark 'ad said. George
Barstow only grunted and went on stooping and prying over 'is front
garden.
“Bin and lost something?” ses Henery Walker, watching 'im.
“No; I'm finding,” ses George Barstow, very fierce, and picking up
something. “That's the fifth bit o' powdered liver I've found in my
garden this morning.”
Henery Walker went off whistling, and the opinion he'd 'ad o' Joe Clark
began to improve. He spoke to Joe about it that arternoon, and Joe said
that if 'e ever accused 'im o' such a thing again he'd knock 'is 'ead
off. He said that he 'oped the cat 'ud live to be a hundred, and that
'e'd no more think of giving it poisoned meat than Henery Walker would
of paying for 'is drink so long as 'e could get anybody else to do it
for 'im.
They 'ad bets up at this 'ere _Cauliflower_ public-'ouse that evening
as to 'ow long that cat 'ud live. Nobody gave it more than a month, and
Bill Chambers sat and thought o' so many ways o' killing it on the sly
that it was wunnerful to hear 'im.
George Barstow took fright when he 'eard of them, and the care 'e took
o' that cat was wunnerful to behold. Arf its time it was shut up in the
back bedroom, and the other arf George Barstow was fussing arter it till
that cat got to hate 'im like pison. Instead o' giving up work as he'd
thought to do, 'e told Henery Walker that 'e'd never worked so 'ard in
his life.
“Wot about fresh air and exercise for it?” ses Henery.
“Wot about Joe Clark?” ses George Barstow. “I'm tied 'and and foot. I
dursent leave the house for a moment. I ain't been to the _Cauliflower_
since I've 'ad it, and three times I got out o' bed last night to see if
it was safe.”
“Mark my words,” ses Henery Walker; “if that cat don't 'ave exercise,
you'll lose it.
“I shall lose it if it does 'ave exercise,” ses George Barstow, “that I
know.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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