Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“A white cat, with one yaller eye and one blue one,” continued the old
man. “It sounds queer, but it's as true as I sit 'ere wishing that I 'ad
another mug o' ale as good as the last you gave me.”
The traveller, with a start that upset the cat's nerves, finished his
own mug, and then ordered both to be refilled. He stirred the fire into
a blaze, and, lighting his pipe and putting one foot on to the hob,
prepared to listen.
It used to belong to old man Clark, young Joe Clark's uncle, said the
ancient, smacking his lips delicately over the ale and extending a
tremulous claw to the tobacco-pouch pushed towards him; and he was never
tired of showing it off to people. He used to call it 'is blue-eyed
darling, and the fuss 'e made o' that cat was sinful.
Young Joe Clark couldn't bear it, but being down in 'is uncle's will for
five cottages and a bit o' land bringing in about forty pounds a year,
he 'ad to 'ide his feelings and pretend as he loved it. He used to take
it little drops o' cream and tit-bits o' meat, and old Clark was so
pleased that 'e promised 'im that he should 'ave the cat along with all
the other property when 'e was dead.
Young Joe said he couldn't thank 'im enough, and the old man, who 'ad
been ailing a long time, made 'im come up every day to teach 'im 'ow to
take care of it arter he was gone. He taught Joe 'ow to cook its meat
and then chop it up fine; 'ow it liked a clean saucer every time for its
milk; and 'ow he wasn't to make a noise when it was asleep.
“Take care your children don't worry it, Joe,” he ses one day, very
sharp. “One o' your boys was pulling its tail this morning, and I want
you to clump his 'ead for 'im.”
“Which one was it?” ses Joe.
“The slobbery-nosed one,” ses old Clark.
“I'll give 'im a clout as soon as I get 'ome,” ses Joe, who was very
fond of 'is children.
“Go and fetch 'im and do it 'ere,” ses the old man; “that'll teach 'im
to love animals.”
Joe went off 'ome to fetch the boy, and arter his mother 'ad washed his
face, and wiped his nose, an' put a clean pinneyfore on 'im, he took 'im
to 'is uncle's and clouted his 'ead for 'im. Arter that Joe and 'is wife
'ad words all night long, and next morning old Clark, coming in from the
garden, was just in time to see 'im kick the cat right acrost the
kitchen.
He could 'ardly speak for a minute, and when 'e could Joe see plain wot
a fool he'd been. Fust of all 'e called Joe every name he could think
of—which took 'im a long time—and then he ordered 'im out of 'is house.
“You shall 'ave my money when your betters have done with it,” he ses,
“and not afore. That's all you've done for yourself.”
Joe Clark didn't know wot he meant at the time, but when old Clark died
three months arterwards 'e found out. His uncle 'ad made a new will and
left everything to old George Barstow for as long as the cat lived,
providing that he took care of it. When the cat was dead the property
was to go to Joe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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