Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
He was arf-way home afore 'e thought of the reason for Ginger Dick and
Peter Russet giving up, and then he went along smiling to 'imself to
such an extent that people thought 'e was mad. He went off to sleep with
the smile still on 'is lips, and when Peter and Ginger came in soon
arter closing time and 'e woke up and asked them where they'd been, 'e
was still smiling.
“I didn't 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you at Mrs. Finch's to-night,” he
ses.
“No,” ses Ginger, very short. “We got tired of it.”
“So un'ealthy sitting in that stuffy little room every evening,” ses
Peter.
Old Sam put his 'ead under the bedclothes and laughed till the bed
shook; and every now and then he'd put his 'ead out and look at Peter
and Ginger and laugh agin till he choked.
“I see 'ow it is,” he ses, sitting up and wiping his eyes on the sheet.
“Well, we can't all win.”
“Wot d'ye mean?” ses Ginger, very disagreeable.
“She wouldn't 'ave you,” ses Sam, “that's wot I mean. And I don't
wonder at it. I wouldn't 'ave you if I was a gal.”
“You're dreaming, ses Peter Russet, sneering at 'im.
“That flower-pot o' yours'll come in handy,” ses Sam, thinking 'ow he
'ad put 'is arm round the widow's waist; “and I thank you kindly for the
teapot, Ginger.
“You don't mean to say as you've asked 'er to marry you?” ses Ginger,
looking at Peter Russet.
“Not quite; but I'm going to,” ses Sam, “and I'll bet you even
arf-crowns she ses 'yes.'”
Ginger wouldn't take 'im, and no more would Peter, not even when he
raised it to five shillings; and the vain way old Sam lay there boasting
and talking about 'is way with the gals made 'em both feel ill.
“I wouldn't 'ave her if she asked me on 'er bended knees,” ses Ginger,
holding up his 'ead.
“Nor me,” ses Peter. “You're welcome to 'er, Sam. When I think of the
evenings I've wasted over a fat old woman I feel——”
“That'll do,” ses old Sam, very sharp; “that ain't the way to speak of a
lady, even if she 'as said 'no.'”
“All right, Sam,” ses Ginger. “You go in and win if you think you're so
precious clever.”
Old Sam said that that was wot 'e was going to do, and he spent so much
time next morning making 'imself look pretty that the other two could
'ardly be civil to him.
He went off a'most direckly arter breakfast, and they didn't see 'im
agin till twelve o'clock that night. He 'ad brought a bottle o' whisky
in with 'im, and he was so 'appy that they see plain wot had 'appened.
“She said 'yes' at two o'clock in the arternoon,” ses old Sam, smiling,
arter they had 'ad a glass apiece. “I'd nearly done the trick at one
o'clock, and then the shop-bell went, and I 'ad to begin all over agin.
Still, it wasn't unpleasant.”
“Do you mean to tell us you've asked 'er to marry you?” ses Ginger,
'olding out 'is glass to be filled agin.
“I do,” ses Sam; “but I 'ope there's no ill-feeling. You never 'ad a
chance, neither of you; she told me so.”
Ginger Dick and Peter Russet stared at each other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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