Captains All: Captains All, Part 1.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All: Captains All, Part 1.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Ginger Dick was the fust there next night, and took 'er a little chiney
teapot he 'ad picked up dirt cheap because it was cracked right acrost
the middle; but, as he explained that he 'ad dropped it in hurrying to
see 'er, she was just as pleased. She stuck it up on the mantelpiece,
and the things she said about Ginger's kindness and generosity made Peter
Russet spend good money that he wanted for 'imself on a painted
flower-pot next evening.
With three men all courting 'er at the same time Mrs. Finch had 'er hands
full, but she took to it wonderful considering. She was so nice and kind
to 'em all that even arter a week's 'ard work none of 'em was really
certain which she liked best.
They took to going in at odd times o' the day for tobacco and such-like.
They used to go alone then, but they all met and did the polite to each
other there of an evening, and then quarrelled all the way 'ome.
Then all of a sudden, without any warning, Ginger Dick and Peter Russet
left off going there. The fust evening Sam sat expecting them every
minute, and was so surprised that he couldn't take any advantage of it;
but on the second, beginning by squeezing Mrs. Finch's 'and at ha'-past
seven, he 'ad got best part of his arm round 'er waist by a quarter to
ten. He didn't do more that night because she told him to be'ave
'imself, and threatened to scream if he didn't leave off.
He was arf-way home afore 'e thought of the reason for Ginger Dick and
Peter Russet giving up, and then he went along smiling to 'imself to such
an extent that people thought 'e was mad. He went off to sleep with the
smile still on 'is lips, and when Peter and Ginger came in soon arter
closing time and 'e woke up and asked them where they'd been, 'e was
still smiling.
"I didn't 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you at Mrs. Finch's to-night," he
ses.
"No," ses Ginger, very short. "We got tired of it."
"So un'ealthy sitting in that stuffy little room every evening," ses
Peter.
Old Sam put his 'ead under the bedclothes and laughed till the bed shook;
and every now and then he'd put his 'ead out and look at Peter and Ginger
and laugh agin till he choked.
"I see 'ow it is," he ses, sitting up and wiping his eyes on the sheet.
"Well, we cant all win."
"Wot d'ye mean?" ses Ginger, very disagreeable.
"She wouldn't 'ave you, Sam, thats wot I mean. And I don't wonder at
it. I wouldn't 'ave you if I was a gal."
"You're dreaming, ses Peter Russet, sneering at 'im.
"That flower-pot o' yours'll come in handy," ses Sam, thinking 'ow he 'ad
put 'is arm round the widow's waist; "and I thank you kindly for the
teapot, Ginger.
"You don't mean to say as you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger,
looking at Peter Russet.
"Not quite; but I'm going to," ses Sam, "and I'll bet you even arf-crowns
she ses 'yes.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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