Beryl was spared the necessity for replying. The curtain went up on
the second act just then. She knew he was looking at her, and turned
in her chair to hide her face. Her heart was beating tumultuously.
She was trembling. She was a fool--a fool. He meant nothing--he was
a liar; lied as readily as other men spoke the truth. That frankness
of his was assumed--he was acting. Versed in the weaknesses of
women, he had chosen the only approach that would storm her citadel.
She told herself these truths, her reason battling in a last
desperate stand against his attack. And yet--why should he not be
sincere? For the first time he had admitted the unpleasant charges
which hitherto he had denied. He surely could not expect to make her
love him more by the confession of his infidelities?
If he had followed up his talk, had made any attempt to carry on the
conversation from the point where he left it, she would have been
invincible. But he did not. When the curtain went down again, he
was more cheerful and was seemingly interested only in the people he
recognized in the stalls. He asked her if she would mind if he left
her. He wanted to smoke and to meet some men he knew.
She assented and was disappointed. They had a long wait between
these two acts, and as he had returned to the box after a shorter
interval than she had expected, there was plenty of time, had he so
wished, to have resumed his conversation. He showed no such desire,
and it was she who began it.
"You puzzle me, Ronnie. I can't see--if you loved me, how you could
do some of the things you have done. You won't be so commonplace as
to tell me that you wanted to keep me out of your mind and that that
form of amusement helped you to forget me."
"No," he admitted, "but, Beryl dear, need we discuss it? I don't
know why I spoke to you as I did. I felt like it."
"But I am going to discuss it," she insisted. "I want my mind set in
order. It is overthrown for the moment. What prevented you from
keeping me as a friend all this time--a real close friend, if you
loved me? Oh, Ronnie, I do want to be fair to you even at the risk
of being shameless, as I am now. Why could you not have asked me?
Even if it meant waiting?"
He looked down at the floor. "I have some sense of decency left," he
said in a low voice. And then the curtain went up.
Beryl looked at her program. The play had four acts; there was
another interval. He did not leave her this time; nor did he wait
for her to begin.
"I'm going to be straight with you, Beryl," he said, "I want you--I
adore you. But I cannot commit you to an engagement which may
adversely affect your father and incidentally myself. I am being
brutally selfish and mercenary, but I am going to say what I think.
You'll be amused and perhaps horrified when I tell you that Steppe is
very keen on you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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