England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
He was fighting with his timber now, as if the thing were alive and
each tree an enemy. In the interminable stumbling exertion of that
groping progress his angry mood gave place to half-comatose philosophy.
Trees! His great-great-grandfather had planted them! His own was the
fifth man’s life, but the trees were almost as young as ever; they
made nothing of a man’s life! He sniggered: and a man made nothing of
theirs! Did they know they were going to be cut down? All the better
if they did, and were sweating in their shoes. He pinched himself--his
thoughts were becoming so queer! He remembered that once, when his
liver was out of order, trees had seemed to him like solid, tall
diseases--bulbous, scarred, cavernous, witch-armed, fungoid emanations
of the earth. Well, so they were! And he was among them, on a snowy
pitch-black night, engaged in this death-struggle! The occurrence
of the word death in his thoughts brought him up all standing. Why
couldn’t he concentrate his mind on getting out; why was he mooning
about the life and nature of trees instead of trying to remember the
conformation of his coverts, so as to rekindle in himself some sense
of general direction? He struck a number of matches, to get a sight of
his watch again. Great heaven! He had been walking nearly two hours
since he last looked at it; and in what direction? They said a man in
a fog went round and round because of some kink in his brain! He began
now to feel the trees, searching for a hollow trunk. A hollow would
be some protection from the cold--his first conscious confession of
exhaustion. He was not in training, and he was sixty-five. The thought:
‘Can’t keep this up much longer,’ caused a second explosion of sullen
anger. Damnation! Here he was--for all he could tell--standing where he
had sat perhaps a dozen times on his spread shooting stick; watching
sunlight on bare twigs, or the nose of his spaniel twitching beside
him, listening to the tap of the beaters’ sticks, and the shrill,
drawn-out: “Marrk! Cock over!” Would they let the dogs out, to pick up
his tracks? No! ten to one they would assume he was staying the night
at the Summertons, or at Lady Mary’s, as he had done before now, after
dining there. And suddenly his strained heart leaped. He had struck a
ride again! His mind slipped back into place like an elastic let-go,
relaxed, quivering gratefully. He had only to follow this ride, and
somewhere, somehow, he would come out. And be hanged if he would let
them know what a fool he had made of himself! Right or left--which way?
He turned so that the flying snow came on his back, hurrying forward
between the denser darkness on either hand, where the timber stood
in walls, moving his arms across and across his body, as if dragging
a concertina to full stretch, to make sure that he was keeping in
the path. He went what seemed an interminable way like this, till he
was brought up all standing by trees, and could find no outlet, no
continuation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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