England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Cara had given him a very young girl’s most emphatic sign of
disapproval. She turned her shoulder upon him, and averted her head.
Poor Roger looked on with a burning heart, seeing the two brothers, one
on each side of her, contending, as it seemed, for her approbation. The
fact that there were two seemed to shut him out more and more. He was
indignant, disappointed, wounded. He said to himself in his heart every
ill thing he could think of against this strange house. First, the
Sunday dinner-party--even though he had himself condoned it by becoming
one of the guests; second, the work left on the table, which he felt
sure the mistress of the house was quite capable of taking up, although
restrained by his presence from actually doing so. Then the separation
of the family--the father in India, the mother here. What a house for
Cara to be thrown into! What an example for her! A woman who lived apart
from her husband and yet asked people to dinner could not be a proper
woman to have the charge of Cara. Of course, she was just the sort of
person to encourage a girl in flirting, to put evil into her head. These
were the thoughts that kept burning and scorching the brain of poor
Roger as he stood before the fire in this strange house, the people on
either side of him so much engaged with each other, and he so completely
left out. Why did he come here to make himself unhappy? Why build such
foolish hopes upon this day? His aunt at Notting Hill would have been a
much better companion, a great deal kinder, and she would be wondering
now what had become of him, or thinking, perhaps, that he was enjoying
himself! Strange enjoyment! He made a distinct pause in his thoughts to
realise her, but he made no sort of movement to go away, which was the
only thing he could do to relieve her anxiety. She would wonder if he
meant to come back; if he was going to stay all night; or if he had gone
off straight from his friend’s house to catch the train. There were not
all the usual trains on Sunday nights, and this would perplex her, poor
lady, still more. All this passed through his mind, and he was very
uncomfortable. Yet he made no attempt to go away.
‘Roger,’ said Cara, getting up suddenly, for she felt herself
embarrassed on her side, and was glad of a way of escape, ‘are you going
back to the College to-night?’
Her question chimed in with his thoughts, but he did not reply in the
way that would have seemed most in keeping with those thoughts. ‘It does
not matter,’ he said; ‘I think I shall go down by the first train
to-morrow.’ As soon as he felt her soft eyes upon him the foolish young
fellow thought that all must go well.
‘If I were you I would go to-night,’ she said; ‘you will be obliged to
get up so early, and it is so dark in the mornings. You never used to
like getting up----.’ Roger felt the light and the warmth coming back to
him, flooding him round and round.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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