England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
As for Beresford, he resumed his seat and his thoughts when the other
was gone. Those thoughts were hot within him, and full of pain. He who,
even when this messenger of evil arrived, had been thinking with
faithful love of his wife; he whose life had been made a desert by her
dying, whose whole existence was changed, who had not cared for years
what became of him, because of that loss--to be met by this unjust and
insane reproval as soon as he had screwed his courage to the
sticking-place, and resumed his natural position in his own house. It
had been a hard thing to do; at every corner he had expected to meet
her--in the silence he had fancied he heard her calling him--the whole
house was full of her, echoing with her steps and her voice. Yet he had
schooled himself to come back, to resume so much as remained to him of
life under his own roof--so much as remained, not thinking of years, but
of value and merit. He was not of very much use to anyone, nor had he
been much missed, perhaps, except in the working of the societies, and
there were so many people who could do that. But he had been patient and
come back, and established himself ‘at home,’ because it was his duty.
He had not shrunk from his duty. And this was his reward. His one source
of soft consolation--the one gentle friend on whose constant sympathy he
could reckon--who made this life of endurance supportable to him, and
kept him up by kind words, by understanding his wants and troubles--she
was to be taken from him. He got up, and walked up and down his room,
and then went to the window and looked blankly out. Almost without
knowing what it was, he saw a brougham come to the next door, and old
Mr. Sommerville step out of it, and enter Mrs. Meredith’s house. He had
gone to warn her, to disturb the sweet composure of her mind, to
embitter all her thoughts. Beresford turned round, and began to walk up
and down more and more hotly. Could anything in the world be more
innocent? He asked, nay, he wanted, nothing more of her. To go and sit
by her now and then (this was how he characterized his long and daily
visits), what was there in that to justify this insulting demand upon
him? He lashed himself up into a fury when he thought of it. He, the
truest of mourners, and she, the least frivolous of women. If ever there
was a true friendship, full of support and mutual comfort, this was the
one. And now, at the pleasure of a set of wretched gossips, ill-minded
men, disagreeable women, was this gentle makeshift and substitute for
domestic happiness to be torn from him? And how--good heavens, how?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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