England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘Oh, have you a headache?’ cried poor little Emmy, ready to cry for
sympathy. What perverse things hearts are when they are young! Agnes
walked away through the wards the emblem, of peaceful quiet, in her
black bonnet, her soft face breathing serenity and ease, as one sufferer
and another thought as she passed, but under that conventual drapery a
hundred thoughts rustling and stinging, so that the girl was afraid lest
they should be heard. Oh, she was glad that he was gone! Glad to be
spared the struggle and the necessity for telling him that he must haunt
her steps no more. Glad to be let alone, to do her work in peace; her
work, that was what she lived for, not absurd romances which she was
ashamed even to dream of. Her mind was brimful and running over with
these thoughts. It was like carrying a hive full of bees, or a cage full
of birds through the place, to walk through it like this, her heart
beating, and so many voices whispering in her ears. But suddenly, all at
once, as she came out of the great doors, they all hushed in a moment.
Her heart stopped (she thought); her thoughts fled like frightened
children. She was stilled. Why? It was all for no better reason than
that Oswald Meredith was visible at the gate, in his black clothes,
looking (the hospital nurses thought) like an interesting young widower,
bereaved and pensive, yet not inconsolable. He had put on a look in
conformity with his hatband, and stood there waiting for her as she came
out, claiming her sympathy. Agnes grew still in a moment, the tumult and
the commotion ceasing in her mind as by magic. She tried to look as if
she did not see him, and then to pass him when she got out beyond the
gate; but he stepped forward quickly into her path.
‘May I ask if you will speak for me about little Emmy?’ he said. ‘The
child looks weak and rather excitable. I should like, if the authorities
will permit me, to pay her expenses to the sea.’
‘Oh, yes, they will permit you,’ said Agnes, smiling in spite of all her
terrors. ‘You are very kind. I will speak--if you wish it.’
‘And write to me,’ said Oswald, eagerly. ‘It will be necessary to write
to me to let me know.’
But Agnes demurred to this easy settlement of the matter. ‘Sister Mary
Jane will write. She manages these things herself. But she will be
pleased. Good morning,’ she said, making am attempt to quicken her
steps.
‘I am going this way,’ said Oswald. ‘I could not come last week. We had
bad news.’
She looked up at him, half alarmed, half sympathetic. She was sorry,
very sorry, that he should suffer. It was not possible (she thought) to
be like the priest and the Levite, pass on on the other side, and
pretend to care nothing for one’s neighbour. But then she ought to tell
him to go away. So Agnes compounded with her conscience by uttering
nothing; all she did was to look up at him with tender brown eyes, so
full of pity and interest, that words would have been vain to express
all they were able to say.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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