England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Yes, she was to go. Oh,
certainly, everything was arranged; but not a word about Emmy’s friend,
whose liberality procured her this change. Agnes felt her heart sink.
She had expected at least to be questioned about the young stranger who
must, she felt convinced, have asked questions about her, and the
silence was hard to bear. Once more, indeed, she was permitted to go out
to see Emmy before she went away; but the lay Sister, the porteress,
was sent with her on some pretext or other. Thus it happened that when
Oswald appeared as usual, he found himself confronted by a respectable
visage of forty under the poke-bonnet which he had supposed to enshrine
that Perugino countenance to which he had addressed so many uncompleted
verses. To be sure, the Perugino face was close by, but the dragon kept
so near that nothing could be said. Oswald talked a little about Emmy
loudly, by way of deceiving the respectable attendant. Then he ventured
upon a few hurried words in a lower tone. ‘Is this an expedient of the
Sisters?’ he said, hastily. ‘Am I never to speak to you again? Do they
think they can send me away like this, and get the better of me? Never!
You need not think so. You may send me away, but no one else shall.’
‘Mr. Meredith, for heaven’s sake----’
‘I am taking care; but you don’t mean to cast me off, Agnes?’
She gave him a sudden look. Her face was full of emotion. Fright,
melancholy, wistfulness, inquiring wonder, were in her eyes. What did he
mean? Was he as true, as reverent, as real in his love, as he had said?
He could not have realised in his confident happiness and ability to do
everything he wished the sense of impotent dejected wondering, and the
indignation with herself, for thinking about it so, which were in
Agnes’s mind. But something in her eyes touched and stopped him in his
eager effort to continue this undertone of conversation, to elude the
scrutiny of her companion. ‘Good-by,’ she said, with a slight wave of
her hand, hurrying on. Oswald was overcome in spite of himself. He fell
behind instinctively, and watched her moving quickly along the street
with the other black shadow by her in the sunshine. For the moment he
ceased to think of himself and thought of her. Had it been for her
comfort that he had crossed her path? It had been the most delightful
new existence and pursuit to him--but to her? Oswald could not have
imagined the waves of varied feeling, the secret storms that had gone
over Agnes in the quiet of the convent, on account of those meetings and
conversations; but he did consciously pause and ask himself whether this
which had been so pleasant to him had been equally pleasant to her. It
was but a momentary pause. Then he went after her a little more slowly,
not unselfish enough, even in his new care for her, not to be rather
anxious that Agnes should be aware that he was there. And, who knows?
perhaps it was more consolatory for her when she half turned round,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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