England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
James Beresford pressed forward too, pushing aside the woman who tried
to prevent him; and there he saw--what? Not his wife: a pale, lovely
image, still as she never was in her life, far away, passive, solemn,
neither caring for him nor any one; beyond all pain or fear of pain. ‘My
God!’ he said. He did not seem even to wonder. Suddenly it became quite
clear to him that for years he had known exactly how this would be.
Maxwell put the husband, who stood stupefied, out of his way; he called
the weeping nurse, who, now that there was nothing to conceal, gave free
outlet to her sorrow. ‘Oh, don’t ask me, sir, I can’t tell you!’ she
said among her sobs. ‘Miss Carry rung the bell and I came. And from that
to this never a word from her, no more than moans and hard breathing. I
sent for you, sir, and then for the nearest as I could get. He came, but
there was nothing as could be done. If she took it herself or if it was
give her, how can I tell? Miss Carry, poor child, she don’t know what’s
happened; she’s watching in the library for her papa. The medicine-box
was on the table, sir, as you see. Oh, I don’t hold with them
medicine-boxes; they puts things into folk’s heads! The other doctor
said as it was laudanum; but if she took it, or if it was give her----’
Mr. Maxwell stopped the woman by a touch on the arm. Poor Beresford
stood still there, supporting himself by the bed, gazing upon that which
was no more his wife. His countenance was like that of one who had
himself died; his mouth was open, the under lip dropped; the eyes
strained and tearless. He heard, yet he did not hear what they were
saying. Later it came back to his mind; at present he knew nothing of
it. ‘God help him!’ said the doctor, turning away to the other end of
the room. And there he heard the rest of the story. They left the two
together who had been all in all to each other. Had he given her the
quietus, he who loved her most, or had she taken it? This was what
neither of them could tell. They stood whispering together while the
husband, propping himself by the bed, looked at her. At _her_? It was
not her. He stood and looked and wondered, with a dull aching in him.
No more--he could not go to her, call her by her name. A dreary,
horrible sense that this still figure was some one else, a something new
and unknown to him, another woman who was not his wife, came into his
soul. He was frozen by the sudden shock; his blood turned into ice, his
heart to stone. Annie! oh, heaven, no; not _that_; not the marble woman
lying in her place! He was himself stone, but she was sculptured marble,
a figure to put on a monument. Two hours of time--light, frivolous,
flying hours--could not change flesh and blood into _that_; could not
put life so far, and make it so impossible. He did not feel that he was
bereaved, or a mourner, or that he had lost what he most loved; he felt
only a stone, looking at stone, with a dull ache in him, and a dull
consternation, nothing more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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