Because, true to his promises, and stubbornly hugging the fetish of
family pride, the boy gave but little indication during the first four
years of his course of the heretical doubts and disbeliefs fermenting
within his troubled mind. And when, after the death of his father and
its consequent release of the flood of protest and mental disquiet so
long pent up within him, the uncle returned to Rome with the lad to
advise his instructors to bring extra pressure to bear upon him in
order to convince him of the truths upon which the Church rested, Josè
subsided again into his wonted attitude of placid endurance, even of
partial acceptance of the religious tutelage, and seldom gave further
sign of inner discord. Acting upon the suggestions of the uncle,
Josè's instructors took special pains to parade before him the
evidence and authorities supporting the claims of Holy Church and the
grand tenets upon which the faith reposed. In particular were the
arguments of Cardinal Newman cited to him, and the study of the
latter's Apology was made a requirement of his course. The writings of
the great Cardinal Manning also were laid before him, and he was told
to find therein ample support for all assumptions of the Church.
Silently and patiently the boy to outward appearance acquiesced; but
often the light of his midnight candle might have revealed a wan face,
frowning and perplexed, while before him lay the Cardinal's argument
for belief in the miraculous resuscitation of the Virgin Mary--the
argument being that the story is a beautiful one, and a comfort to
those pious souls who think it true!
Often, too, there lay before him the words of the great Newman:
"You may be taken away young; you may live to fourscore; you may
die in your bed, or in the open field--but if Mary intercedes for
you, that day will find you watching and ready. All things will be
fixed to secure your salvation, all dangers will be foreseen, all
obstacles removed, all aid provided."
And as often he would close the book and drop his head in wonder that
a man so humanly great could believe in an infinite, omnipotent God
amenable to influence, even to that of the sanctified Mary.
"The Christ said, 'These signs shall follow them that believe,'" he
sometimes murmured, as he sat wrapped in study. "But do the Master's
signs follow the Cardinals? Yet these men say they believe. What can
they do that other men can not? Alas, nothing! What boots their
sterile faith?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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