Bildungsromans; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Scotland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
It really was a splendid evening, and perhaps the most splendid part of
it was lying in bed with Valerie and talking over with her all the
partners and taking them off with such excited demonstration of their
methods that the bed became all untucked and had to be made over again
before they could finally settle themselves down to sleep.
In February Jenny was back again in Hagworth Street, with memories of
"Jack and the Beanstalk" fading slowly like the colors of a sunset. She
had enjoyed her personal success in Glasgow, but already success was
beginning to prove itself an empty prize--a rainbow bubble easily burst.
The reason is obvious. Jenny had never been taught to concentrate her
mind. She had no power of retrospective analysis. The applause endured a
little while in her meditations, but gradually died away in the
occupations of the present. She could not secure it as the basis of a
wider success on the next occasion. She began to ask: "What's the good
of anything?" Within a few weeks of the resumption of ordinary life, the
Glasgow theater had become like a piece of cake that one eats
unconsciously, then turns to find and discovers not. She was no farther
forward on the road to independence. She became oppressed by the dead
weight of futurity.
At home, too, there was a very real repression, which she grew to hate
more and more deeply on each occasion of its exercise. A breath of
maternal interference and she would fly into a temper--a scowling,
chair-tilting, door-slamming rage. She would fling herself out of the
house with threats never to return. One day when she was reproached with
staying out longer than she was allowed, she rushed out again and
disappeared. Her mother, in despair, went off to invoke the aid of
Madame Aldavini, who wisely guessed that Jenny would be found with
Valerie Duval. There she was, indeed, in Valerie's rooms in Soho, not at
all penitent for her misbehavior, but sufficiently frightened by
Madame's threat of expulsion to come back home without argument.
Freedom was still Jenny's religion. She was much about with boys, but
still merely for the life and entertainment of their company, for no
sentimental adventures. It would have been wiser to let her alone, but
nobody with whom she was brought into contact could realize the
sexlessness of the child. The truest safeguard of a girl's virtue is
familiarity with the aggregated follies of masculine adolescence.
Jenny fought her way desperately into her seventeenth year, winning
freedom in jots. She liked most of anything to go to Collin's Music-hall
with a noisy gang of attendant boys, not one of whom was as much a
separate realized entity to her as even an individual sheep is to a
shepherd. Alfie came home in the summer before her seventeenth birthday
and abetted cordially her declarations of independence. May, too, was
implicated in every plot for the subversion of parental authority.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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