Castes and Tribes of Southern India. Vol. 5 of 7Thurston, Edgar
History
Castes and Tribes of Southern India. Vol. 5 of 7
Thurston, Edgar
Caste -- India, South; Ethnology -- India, South; India, South -- Social life and customs; Tribes -- India, South
presents (dakshina) of two to four annas each, with betel leaves and
areca nuts from the bridegroom, and sometimes from the bride. A few
who are invited receive their dakshina in the bridal chamber, the
others outside. Those of the bridegroom's party who live far away
are given sleeping accommodation at the bride's house [in a Nayar
house the sleeping rooms of the men and women are at different ends
of the house]. About daybreak next morning the bridegroom leaves
the house with his party, leaving under his pillow 8, 16, 32, or
64 rupees, according to his means, which are intended to cover the
expenses of the wife's household in connection with the ceremony. The
sambandham is now complete. The girl remains in her own taravad house,
and her husband visits her there, coming in the evening and leaving
next morning. A few days after the completion of the ceremony, the
senior woman of the bridegroom's house sends some cloths, including
pavu mundu (superior cloths) and thorthu mundu (towels) and some
oil to the bride for her use for six months. Every six months she
does the same, and, at the Onam, Vishu, and Thiruvathira festivals,
she sends besides a little money, areca nuts, betel and tobacco. The
money sent should be 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64 rupees. Higher sums are very
rarely sent. Before long, the women of the husband's house express a
longing for the girl-wife to be brought to their house, for they have
not seen her yet. Again the astrologer is requisitioned, and, on the
day he fixes, two or three of the women go to the house of the girl,
or, as they call her, Ammayi (uncle's wife). They are well treated,
and presently bring away the girl with them. As she is about to enter
the gate-house of her husband's taravad, the stile of which she crosses
right leg first, two or three of the women meet her, bearing a burning
lamp and a brass plate (thalam), and precede her to the nalukattu of
the house. There she is seated on a mat, and a burning lamp, a nazhi
(measure) of rice, and some plantains are placed before her. One of
the younger women takes up a plantain, and puts a piece of it in the
Ammayi's mouth; a little ceremony called madhuram tital, or giving the
sweets for eating. She lives in her husband's house for a few days,
and is then sent back to her own with presents, bracelets, rings or
cloths, which are gifts of the senior woman of the house. After this
she is at liberty to visit her husband's house on any day, auspicious
or inauspicious. In a big taravad, where there are many women, the
Ammayi does not, as a rule, get much sympathy and good-will in the
household, and, if she happens to live temporarily in her husband's
house, as is sometimes, though very rarely the case in South Malabar,
and to be the wife of the Karanavan, it is observed that she gets more
than her share of whatever good things may be going. Hence the proverb,
'Place Ammayi Amma on a stone, and grind her with another stone.' A
sambandham ceremony at Calicut is recorded by Mr.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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