Gilchrist winced. He himself made jokes about his figure, but it was
a cover-up. Then he wondered why he should care; they'd all be dead
anyway, before long.
A colleague, Danton, turned empty eyes on them as they joined the rest.
"Any word?" he asked.
"They're working on it," said Catherine shortly.
"God! Won't they hurry up? I've got a wife and kid. And we can't even
sleep, it's so cold."
Yes, thought Gilchrist, that would be another angle. Weariness to eat
away strength and hope ... radiation would work fast on people in a
depressed state.
"They could at least give us a heater in here!" exclaimed Danton. His
tone was raw. Shadows muffled his face and body.
"All the juice we can spare is going to the food and air plants. No use
being warm if you starve or suffocate," said Catherine.
"I know, I know. But--Well, why aren't we getting more light? There
ought to be enough current to heat the plants and still furnish a
decent glow in here."
"Something else--" Gilchrist hesitated. "Something else is operating,
then, and sucking a lot of power. I don't know what."
"They say the pile itself is as hot as ever. Why can't we run a pipe
directly from it?"
"And get a mess of fast neutrons?" Catherine's voice died. After
all ... they were being irradiated as they stood here and trembled.
"We've got batteries!" It was almost a snarl from Danton's throat.
"Batteries enough to keep us going comfortably for days. Why not use
them?"
"And suppose the trouble hasn't been fixed by the time they're
drained?" challenged Gilchrist.
"Don't say that!"
"Take it easy," advised another man.
Danton bit his lip and faced away, mumbling to himself.
A baby began to cry. There seemed no way of quieting it.
"Turn that bloody brat off!" The tone came saw-toothed from somewhere
in the pack.
"Shut up!" A woman's voice, close to hysteria.
Gilchrist realized that his teeth were rattling. He forced them to
stop. The air was foul in his nostrils.
He thought of beaches under a flooding sun, of summer meadows and a
long sweaty walk down dusty roads, he thought of birds and blue sky.
But it was no good. None of it was real.
The reality was here, just beyond the walls, where Neptune hung ashen
above glittering snow that was not snow, where a thin poisonous wind
whimpered between barren snags, where the dark and the cold flowed
triumphantly close. The reality would be a block of solid gas, a
hundred human corpses locked in it like flies in amber, it would be
death and the end of all things.
He spoke slowly, through numbed lips: "Why has man always supposed that
God cared?"
"We don't know if He does or not," said Catherine. "But man cares,
isn't that enough?"
"Not when the next nearest man is so far away," said Alemán, trying to
smile. "I will believe in God; man is too small."
Danton turned around again. "Then why won't He help us now?" he cried.
"Why won't He at least save the children?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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