Booth, Catherine Mumford, 1829-1890; Salvation Army -- Great Britain -- Biography
'I struggled through the day until a little after six in the evening,
when William joined me in prayer. We had a blessed season. While he was
saying, "Lord, we open our hearts to receive Thee," that word was spoken
to my soul, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear My
voice, and open unto Me, I will come in, and sup with him." I felt sure
He had long been knocking, and Oh, how I yearned to receive Him as a
perfect Saviour! But Oh, the inveterate habit of unbelief! How wonderful
that God should have borne so long with me! When we got up from our
knees, I lay on the sofa, exhausted with the excitement and effort of the
day. William said, "Don't you lay all on the altar?" I replied, "I am
sure I do!" Then he said, "And isn't the altar holy?" I replied in the
language of the Holy Ghost, "The altar is most holy, and whatsoever
toucheth it is holy." Then, said he, "Are you not holy?" I replied with
my heart full of emotion and with some faith, "Oh, I think I am!"
Immediately the word was given me to confirm my faith. "Now are ye clean
through the word which I have spoken unto you." And I took hold--true,
with a trembling hand, and not unmolested by the tempter, but I held fast
the beginning of my confidence, and it grew stronger, and from that
moment I have dared to reckon myself dead indeed unto sin, and alive unto
God through Jesus Christ my Lord.
'I did not feel much rapturous joy, but perfect peace, the sweet rest
which Jesus promised to the heavy laden. I have understood the Apostle's
meaning when he says, "We who believe do enter into rest." This is just
descriptive of my state at present. Not that I am not tempted, but I am
allowed to know the Devil when he approaches me, and I look to my
Deliverer Jesus, and He still gives me rest. Two or three very trying
things occurred on Saturday, which at another time would have excited
impatience, but I was kept by the power of God through faith unto full
Salvation.
'And now what shall I say? "Unto Him who has washed me in His own Blood
be glory and dominion for ever and ever," and all within me says "Amen!"
Oh! I cannot describe, I have no words to set forth the sense I have of
my own utter unworthiness. Satan has met me frequently with my peculiarly
aggravated sins, and I have admitted it all. But then I have said, the
Lord has not made my sanctification to depend in any measure on my own
worthiness or unworthiness, but on the worthiness of my Saviour. He came
to seek and to save "that which was lost." "Where sin hath abounded,
grace doth much more abound"'
How wonderfully in after years Mrs. Booth explained and led others into
this same blessing, we know. Was not, then, the long struggle and agony
on her own behalf worth it? Yes, indeed, and it will be so with you when
you get this glorious blessing in your soul.
You will have noticed how in struggling for Holiness Mrs. Booth had to
fight unbelief. This determination to trust God fully marked her out as
strong in faith.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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