Bildungsromans; English fiction -- 20th century; Women musicians -- Fiction
was of having piloted a ship through a channel infested with rocks and
succeeded somehow or other. Yet there was pleasure in the exercise. And
she treasured up certain things he said, not for their intrinsic value,
but because she had made him say them....
She was quite sincere and enthusiastic about the platonic basis of
their friendship. She almost sentimentalized about it. She deified
it till it shone with a flame infinitely more dazzling than that
of love. She despised love. Love was elemental. Basically, it was
animal: she watched the couples strolling at twilight beneath the
trees of the Ridgeway, and saw nothing in them but the primitive
male seeking the primitive female. The poetry, the idyllic quality
fell from the amorousness of men and women and revealed it to her as
something of sheer brute passion. (A cold douche from one of Shaw’s
plays had assisted this transformation.) She felt herself consciously
superior to these couples. She speculated on their thoughts, their
conversations, their sympathies, and she almost despised them because
their thoughts were not high, nor their conversations intellectual,
nor their sympathies complex. She felt: the further and higher mankind
develops the less prominence will be given to the merely brutish and
physical aspect of passion. Until there shall at last be evolved the
Higher Love, which is the union of twin affinities, indissolubly one by
community of thought and sympathy and ideal. (This, by the way, she had
read somewhere, and her mind seized hold of it greedily.) She could
not conceive of Verreker and herself as man and wife. But as twin-souls
their future seemed promising; and the strictly platonic nature of
their association was consecrated by the application of the twin-soul
theory. She diligently read abstruse, religious-cum-psychological
works on the subject. She became possessed with a fierce enthusiasm
for masculine camaraderie. Men, she thought, are easily able to enjoy
delightful and perfectly platonic friendships with both men and women.
Men have a greater capacity for friendship than women. They are less
intensely sexual. They have a glorious sense of camaraderie which is
as the breath of a gale over uplands. Whereas women are narrower, more
passionate, maybe, in what attachments they do make, but incapable of
realizing the male ideal of comradeship. She admired men for their
wider and more spacious outlook on life. She became fond of the novels
of Michael Fairless and Jack London. And, as a sort of reaction,
she was profoundly affected by reading _The Hill_, Vachell’s
Harrow school story of a great friendship. Then she got hold of
Wells’ _Passionate Friends_, and it thrilled her by its seeming
applicability to her own life. She felt, with some superiority: Most
people would not understand this book. They would condemn it as unreal,
exotic, untrue to life. But I understand it and know that it is very
real and very true.... There were sentences in _Wuthering Heights_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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