And the horror of that abyss into which he looked, flashing from his
mind to my own, left me silent and helpless before him. Yet I longed to
give him comfort; for, with the regal self-possession which had fallen
from him, there had slipped from me too some undefined instinct of
distrust and disapproval. All that I felt now was the sad tie of
brotherhood which united us, poor human atoms, strong only in our
capacity to suffer, tossed and driven, whitherward we knew not, in the
purposeless play of soulless and unpitying forces.
CHAPTER V
AUSTYN'S GOSPEL
"He did not see the ghost, you say; he only felt it? I should think he
did--on his chest. I never heard of a clearer case of nightmare. You
must be careful whom you tell the story to, old chap; for at the first
go-off it sounds as if it was not merely eating too much that was the
matter. It was, however, indigestion sure enough. No wonder! If a man of
his age who takes no exercise will eat three square meals a day, what
else can he expect? And Mallet is rather liberal with her cream."
Atherley it was, of course, who propounded this simple interpretation of
the night's alarms, as he sat in his smoking-room reviewing his
trout-flies after an early breakfast we had taken with the Canon.
"You always account for the mechanism, but not for the effect. Why
should indigestion take that mental form?"
"Why, because indigestion constantly does in sleep, and out of it as
well, for that matter. A nightmare is not always a sense of oppression
on the chest only; it may be an overpowering dread of something you
dream you see. Indigestion can produce, waking or asleep, a very good
imitation of what is experienced in a blue funk. And there is another
kind of dream which is produced by fasting--that, I need hardly say, I
have never experienced. Indeed, I don't dream."
"But the ghost--the ghost he almost saw."
"The sinking horror produced the ghost, instead of _vice versa_, as you
might suppose. It is like a dream. In unpleasant dreams we fancy it is
the dream itself which makes us feel uncomfortable. It is just the other
way round. It is the discomfort that produces the dream. Have you ever
dreamt you were tramping through snow, and felt cold in consequence? I
did the other night. But I did not feel cold because I dreamt I was
walking through snow, but because I had not enough blankets on my bed;
and because I felt cold I dreamt about the snow. Don't you know the
dream you make up in a few moments about the knocking at the door when
they call you in the morning? And ghosts are only waking dreams."
"I wonder if you ever had an illusion yourself--gave way to it, I mean.
You were in love once--twice," I added hastily, in deference to Lady
Atherley.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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