'No, I never did,' Mildred answered languidly, and she continued to
work on her sky. But her thoughts were far from it, and she noticed
that she was spoiling it. 'No, I never tried horses and dogs.'
'But you could, dearest, if you were to try. You could do anything you
tried. You are so clever.'
'I don't know that I am; I should like to be.'
They looked at each other, and anxiously each strove to read the
other's thoughts.
'Landscapes are more suited to a drawing-room than a smoking-room. It
will look very well in your drawing-room when we're married. We shall
want some pictures to cover the walls.'
At the word marriage, Mildred's lips seemed to grow thinner. The
conversation paused. Alfred noticed that she hesitated, that she was
striving to speak. She had broken off her engagement once before with
him, and he had begun to fear that she was going to do so again. There
was a look of mingled irresolution and determination in her face. She
continued to work on her sky; but at every touch it grew worse, and,
feeling that she had irretrievably spoilt her drawing, she said:
'But do you think that we shall ever be married, Alfred?'
'Of course. Why? Are you going to break it off?'
'We have been engaged nearly two years, and there seems no prospect of
our being married. Harold will never consent. It does not seem fair to
keep you waiting any longer.'
'I'd willingly wait twenty years for you, Mildred.'
She looked at him a little tenderly, and he continued more
confidently. 'But I'm glad to say there is no longer any question of
waiting. My father has consented to settle four hundred a year upon
me, the same sum as your brother proposes to settle on you. We can be
married when you like.'
She only looked at the spoilt water-colour, and it was with difficulty
that Alfred restrained himself from snatching it out of her hands.
'You do not answer. You heard what I said, that my father had agreed
to settle four hundred a year upon me?'
'I'm sure I'm very glad, for your sake.'
'That's a very cold answer, Mildred. I think I can say that I'm sure
of the appointment.'
'I'm glad, indeed I am, Alfred.'
'But only for my sake?'
Mildred sat looking at the water-colour.
'You see our marriage has been delayed so long; many things have come
between us.'
'What things?'
'Much that I'm afraid you'd not understand. You've often reproached
me,' she said, her voice quickening a little, 'with coldness. I'm
cold; it is not my fault. I'm afraid I'm not like other girls. ... I
don't think I want to be married.'
'This is Mrs. Fargus' doing. What do you want?'
'I'm not quite sure. I should like to study.'
'This must be Mrs. Fargus.'
'I should like to do something.'
'But marriage--'
'Marriage is not everything. There are other things. I should like to
study art.'
'But marriage won't prevent your studying art.'
'I want to go away, to leave Sutton. I should like to travel.'
'But we should travel--our honeymoon.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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