The absinthe drinkers, the green trees, the blue roofs of the great
houses, all these signs of the boulevard, intruded upon and
interrupted their thoughts; then the boulevard passed out of their
sight and they were again conscious of nothing but each other.
'I met your brother. He was anxious about you. He wondered if you were
getting on and I said that I'd go and see.'
'And do you think I'm getting on?'
Yes, I think you've made progress. You couldn't have done that
drawing before you went to Paris.'
'You really think so.... I was right to go to Paris.... I must show
you my other drawings. I've some better than that.'
The artistic question was discussed till they reached the Place de
l'Opera.
'That is the opera-house,' Mildred said, 'and that is the Cafe de la
Paix.... You haven't been to Paris before?'
'No; this is my first visit. But I didn't come to Paris to see Paris.
I came to see you. I could not help myself. Your letters were so
charming. I have read them over a thousand times. I couldn't go on
reading them without seeing you.... I got afraid that you'd find some
one here you'd fall in love with. Some one whom you'd prefer to me.
Have you?'
'No; I don't know that I have.'
'Then why shouldn't we be married? That's what I've come to ask you.'
'You mean now, in Paris?'
'Why not? If you haven't met any one you like better, you know.'
'And give up my painting, and just at the time I'm beginning to get
on! You said I had improved in my drawing.'
'Ah, your drawing interests you more than I.'
'I'd give anything to draw like Misal. You don't know him--a student
of the _Beaux Arts._'
'When you'd learnt all he knows, you wouldn't be any nearer to
painting a picture.'
'That isn't very polite. You don't think much of my chances of
success.... But we shall see.'
'Mildred, you don't understand me. This is not fair to me. Only say
when you'll marry me, and I'll wait, I'll wait, yes, as long as you
like--only fix a time.'
'When I've learnt to draw.'
'You're laughing at me.'
Her face darkened, and they did not speak again till the green roof of
the Madeleine appeared, striking sharp against a piece of blue sky.
Mildred said:
'This is my way,' and she turned to the right.
'You take offence without cause. When you have learnt to draw! We're
always learning to draw. No one has ever learnt to draw perfectly.'
'I have no other answer.'
'Mildred, this isn't fair.'
'If you're not satisfied I release you from your engagement. Yes, I
release you from your engagement.'
'Mildred, you're cruel. You seem to take pleasure in torturing me. But
this cannot be. I cannot live without you. What am I to do?'
'You must try.'
'No, I shall not try,' he answered sullenly.
'What will you do?'
'My plans are made. I shall not live.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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