I lit a pipe. Melancholy and the hint of an old anguish wiped out Mrs.
Mahon.--This anguish is what moves me, moves me toward what seems the
cause of the anguish. A paradox that is a common law. Look at love: how
pain of unfulfillment moves us upon the loved one, and as we come ever
closer, ever deeper and more absolute grows the pain of unfulfillment.
If I could analyze what this is that has taken me: if I could only know
where it began.... But I know that it must first fill out its life ere
my mind measure it. What did my poor analysis avail me? How wisely I
announced: “Your anguish moves you toward the source of your anguish.
You cannot stay still because you must fulfill your own beginning.” And
how blindly I moved!
I reached into my pocket and took out the envelope that I had not yet
examined, and that Mrs. Mahon had helped me to forget. It was addressed
_Philip LaMotte, Esquire_
_By Bearer_
and it was in the straight high script of Mildred Fayn!
It was empty.
I tapped it against my open palm and wondered why I felt that it had
any bearing on the case. There was no proof that this was the alleged
letter of the fatal messenger. On the contrary, how could I entertain a
thought that would implicate Mildred in this horrible affair? What was
I trying to find, or to think? I was abhorrent to myself. Doubtless,
Mildred had written more than once to a man so close. My reason flayed
my miserable thoughts: but did not break them: did not avail against
their issuance in deed.
I telephoned to Mildred.
“Yes?” she answered and her frail voice bloomed out of the wire,
drenching my sense in a languor of desired peace.
“Mildred,” I said, “doubtless these days you would prefer not to see
me.” She did not answer this. “But something possibly important has
come up: I feel that I should speak to you.”
She hesitated.
“Meet me at lunch, at Sherry’s ... at one-thirty.”
_i_
My work took me. I worked well. Doctor Isaac Stein’s warm voice
startled me at my shoulder.
“You have a fine power of concentration, Doctor Mark. I’ve been here
five minutes watching your immobile absorption.”
I turned and met the gray eyes of the great bio-chemist: of the man
whom of all Americans I admired most.
“It is the contrary of concentration. My brain is split in two. And the
one part does not trouble the other.”
He nodded and frowned.
“It’s the part of your brain which dwells so voluptuously with those
ganglions, that interests me.”
“I stand rebuked, sir.”
“You’ll learn that the other part which you think now so worthily
engaged in speculation and in rhapsody, is merely the part not yet in
solution--not at the point yet of true condensation. When you’re wholly
crystallized, Mark, then you’ll be _whole_.”
“You disapprove of me, Doctor Stein?”
He laughed. “You should know better than that.”
“You have the passion for unity of your race, sir.” I laughed back.
“This faith in unity which your science posits is itself the creation
of a wild mystic rhapsody.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account