“I couldn’t tell, mister. Jesus!--how could I tell? The man looked all
right. What we got to fear, usual, ’cept somethin’ lyin’ loose gets
swiped? I wasn’t gone a minute.”
I felt sorry for him. I nodded.
“I come back. An’ he was standin’ there. His hat in his hand. A funny
guy, he seemed then: like no mechanic. Sort o’ seemed I hadn’t seen him
before. I tells him: ‘Nothin’ doin’.’ I wasn’t gone a minute. He nods.
Puts on his hat. Lights out.”
“What did he look like?”
The man writhed in the effort of search and of articulation.
“He was funny lookin’. Didn’t look like no mechanic. I dunno. The light
ain’t much, you see, on the floor. He was dressed dark-like ... and ...
I dunno ... seems sort o’ like his head, it was white.”
_o_
I am in my room. My watch says 1.30.
The smoke of Doctor Stein’s pipe lingers like the fume of a spent flame
that was the life of sun and stars and earth. All of my room is the
echo of a song. It is outside me, but my senses wistfully can touch it.
I touch my body, taking off my clothes. My body has the flavor to my
senses, not of the real but of the reminiscent.
I lie in bed. The white sheets fold about me like a dream. I switch off
the lamp: blackness moves dense upon me and within me: and the light
that is gone dwells in my memory like a light of fancy.
I shut my eyes. This twisted horror, life ... Philip murdered and my
parents murdered, Mildred grimacing their death with her fairness, they
with their horror swarming upon Mildred.... I cannot meet it with my
mind. I am sunk in this twisted terror. Naught is outside me for my
mind to meet, save the voice that came from the worn throat of Mrs.
Landsdowne:
“What are you doing?... But you must go on.... When to-morrow takes its
place beyond to-day, you will know. And I will help you know.”
A flowing water, the promise of her words. I plunge in it. I lie in it,
I sleep....
PART TWO
THE OTHER ROOM
_a_
The house stands on the height of a mountain. I am aware of the
mountain more than of the house. The room in which I am, in which we
are, has a door that opens on a narrow hall: and at the hall’s end
there is another room. That is the whole of the house. Along the room’s
length there are three French windows giving upon a roofless porch: and
the slope of the mountain starts down from the porch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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