“If I see,” said I, “any signs in the blackness, any stirring in the
night, will that not be the dawn?”
And as I spoke I knew that I was speaking to help my eyes from having
to look. They held back from the night as if my body had shrunk from
plunging with them down into a cold black sea.
“It might be another house, if all you saw was a light.”
“No, mother,” I spoke nervously, eager to answer every word that came
lest the silence behind me push my eyes indeed into the blackness.
“There is no other house.”
“There is one house on the mountain top,” said Mildred.
“No house could live upon the mountain side,” said Philip.
“Oh, what futile conversation,” mocked my mother. “Really, Doctor
Stein, is this all your fault?”
“No house could live,” said Philip, “on the mountain side. And no man
could hold to it.”
“He would fall back ere he had risen a single step.”
Doctor Stein soothed my mother: “Do not blame me, Mrs. Mark. And do not
blame me, either, if someone asks next how we came here ... high up on
the impassable mountain.”
Mother smiled and patted his fine hand: as much as to say “No, that
foolish you are not, dear Doctor. That foolish none of us is.”
And then, as they all smiled at the Doctor’s jest, there came from all
the room what I most dreaded: silence. No more words to pull me back:
but silence pressing against the base of my brain, as I stood near the
window.
I breathed at ease, for it was really darkness. I began to exult.
I prepared my words as if to fling at them in answer to a hostile
challenge.
“See--there is no sign of dawn at midnight.”
The words were not uttered.... I forgot the cozy room in which I stood.
I saw the night. And there was something there by which to see it!
The black of the sky was limpid: a well of blackness, a blackness that
received my sight passively, and my sight sank in it and was lost.
This sky had no cloud, and yet no moon or star. It was a black thing
enfolding me. But the slope of the mountain was a harder blackness:
dense and wilful the mountain side struck down athwart the mellow
blackness of the sky. My eyes went immensely far, until the vast stroke
of the mountain faded, became moltenly one with the warm night of the
sky that folded all about.
Deep down where the mountain melted into space and solid and fluid
merged into a blindness, I saw a spot of light. I was silent: and as I
held my breath, the spot of light moved up.
I spoke:
“Something is down there ... and it is bright ... and it is moving up.”
But there was no answer in the room. My words seemed naked, almost
ashamed: so strange they sounded in the place I held between the room
and the night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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