Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 45, Vol. I, November 8, 1884Various
History
Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 45, Vol. I, November 8, 1884
Various
Periodicals
‘Don’t interrupt. Lady Renshaw will be here presently. As soon as she
appears on the scene, you will take charge of her. I have special
reasons for asking you to do this, which I cannot now explain. You
will amuse her, interest her, keep her out of the way, and prevent her
generally from making a nuisance of herself to any one but yourselves,
till luncheon-time.’
‘My dear Pen,’ began the vicar.
‘My dear Miss Gaisford,’ pleaded the doctor.
‘You will do as you are told, and do it without grumbling,’ was the
little woman’s reply as she shook a finger in both their faces. ‘I’ve
arranged my plans for the day, and I can’t have them interfered with.’
‘My dear Pen,’ again persisted the vicar, in his mildest tones, ‘that
your plan is a perfectly admirable one, I do not for one moment doubt,
only, as you know very well, I am not and never have been a ladies’
man, and that in the company of your charming sex I’m just as shy
at fifty-five as I was at eighteen. But with Mac here the case is
altogether different. All doctors know how to please and flatter the
sex—it’s part of their stock-in-trade, so that Mac would be quite at
home with her ladyship; whereas I—well, the fact is I had made up my
mind to walk as far as’——
‘Blackstone Hollow,’ interrupted his sister, ‘in order that you might
have another look at that big trout about which you dream every night,
but which you will never succeed in catching as long as you live.’
‘The traitor! eh, Miss Penelope?’ cried the doctor. ‘This is neither
more nor less than prevarication—yes, sir, prevarication—there’s no
other word for it—and you the vicar of a parish, whose example ought to
be a shining light to all men! Septimus Gaisford, I’m ashamed of you!
As for Lady Renshaw’—— He ended with a snap of his fingers.
‘Neither of you is afraid of her. Of course not,’ remarked Miss
Penelope. ‘You would scorn to acknowledge that you are afraid of any
woman. But why run any risk in the matter? Why allow her ladyship to
attack you separately, when, by keeping together and combining your
forces, you would render your position impregnable?’
‘Impregnable!’ both the gentlemen gasped out.
Miss Gaisford’s merry laugh ran up the glen. ‘What a pair of delicious,
elderly nincompoops you are!’ she cried. ‘Septimus, you dear old
simpleton, haven’t you discovered that this woman would like nothing
better than to bring you to your knees with an offer of marriage?’
‘Good gracious, Pen!’ cried the vicar with a start that nearly shook
the spectacles off his nose.
‘Doctor, did you not see enough of her ladyship’s tactics last evening
to understand that her plan with you is to induce you to believe that
she has fallen in love with you? and when one of your sex gets the
idea into his head that one of our sex is in love with him, why, then,
a little reciprocity of sentiment is the almost inevitable result.’
‘The hussy!’ exclaimed Mac. ‘I should like her to be laid up for a
fortnight and let me have the physicking of her!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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