CHANTECLER
Taste, my dear fellow, he unmistakably has!
PATOU
Ye-e-e-es! But not much taste! To wear black is too easy a way of having
taste! One should have the courage of colours on his wing.
CHANTECLER
You will admit at least that he has an original fancy. No denying that
he is amusing.
PATOU
Ye-e-es--No! Why is it amusing to adopt a few stock phrases and make
them do service at every turn? Why amusing to miscall, exaggerate, and
vulgarise?
CHANTECLER
His mind has a diverting, unexpected turn--
PATOU
Ready but cheap! I cannot think it particularly brilliant to remark,
with a knowing wink, at sight of an innocent cow at pasture, “The simple
cow knows her way to the hay!” Nor do I regard it as evidence of notable
mental gifts to answer the greeting of the inoffensive duck, “The quack
shoots off his mouth!” No, the extravagances of that Blackbird, who
makes me bristle, no more constitute wit than his slang achieves style!
CHANTECLER
He is not altogether to blame. He wears the modern garb. See him there
in correct evening dress. He looks, in his neat black coat--
PATOU
Like a beastly little undertaker who, after burying Faith, hops with
relief and glee!
CHANTECLER
There, there! You make him blacker than he is!
PATOU
I do believe a blackbird is just a misfit crow!
CHANTECLER
His diminutive size, however--
PATOU
[_Vigorously shaking his ears._] Oh, be not deceived by his size! Evil
makes his models first on a tiny scale. The soul of a cutlass dwells in
the pocket-knife; blackbird and crow are of the selfsame crape, and the
striped wasp is a tiger in miniature!
CHANTECLER
[_Amused at_ PATOU’S _violence._] The blackbird in short is wicked,
stupid, ugly--
PATOU
The chief thing about the Blackbird is--that you can’t tell what he is!
Is there thought in that head? feeling in that breast? Hear him!
“Tew-tew-tew-tew tew--”
CHANTECLER
But what harm does he do?
PATOU
He tew-tew-tews! And nothing is so mortal to thought and sentiment as
that same derisive tew-tewing, disingenuous and non-committal! Day by
day, and that is why I roll my rs, I must witness this debasing of
language and ideals. It’s enough to produce rabies!
CHANTECLER
Come, Patou!--
PATOU
In their objectionable jargon, they have the ha-ha on all of us! I am no
fastidious King Charles, but I dislike, I tell you, being referred to as
His Whiskers!--Oh, to be gone, escape, follow the heels of some poor
shepherd without a crust in his wallet, but at least, at evening
drinking from the glassy pond, to have--oh, better than all
marrow-bones!--the fresh illusion of lapping up the stars!
CHANTECLER
[_Surprised at_ PATOU’S _having lowered his voice to utter the last
words._] Why do you drop your voice?
PATOU
You see?--If we speak of stars nowadays we must do it in a whisper! [_He
lays his head on his paws in deep dejection._]
CHANTECLER
[_Comforting him._] Be not downcast!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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